Chapter 11: In Which Belle Becomes an Epic Detective

Hey, readers! I'm so sorry about the wait! Thank you so much for patiently waiting. I had a ton of homework this weekend, and grades are more important than "Once Upon a Time," so...

Your Likely Reaction to the Above Statement:

My Response:

I'm kind of like Hermione before people forgot that she was "The Annoying One" in the group. Anyways, now that we've established my well-known zealotry regarding my academic studies, on to the recap and review of this week's episode of ABC's fabulous "Once Upon a Time," 2x11: "The Outsider!"

What Happened

Fairytale Land (Past) :

• Last season, after Belle ditched Rumpelstiltskin's tower because he had intimacy issues and was unwilling to try the latest form of acne treatment, she gave Grumpy (known at the time as Dreamy, before said dreams were tragically crushed) some romantic advice. This takes place the day afterwards, when Belle is being adorkable in the same medieval tavern/pub/social scene, reading a book in a corner and planning out the next great Fairytale Landian Novel. 
• Grumpy/Dreamy shows up and encourages her to go on an adventure (the purpose of which is to hunt down a demon called a Yaoguai, which has been terrorizing the nearby towns) with some sketchy-looking guys in the corner who've decided it's a good idea to bring back the Tri-Cornered hat. 

I hear it's all the rage in Europe.

• Belle then gets the experience that any poor soul who has ever tried to read a book in a public place during their adolescence has been forced to undergo when one of her fellow adventurers asks her what she's reading. 

Traveling Companion:

Belle:

• The traveling companion continues to be obnoxious. Belle gets her smart-hat on and tells the dude (who just can't take "leave me the chocolate fudgicle alone" for an answer) that the Yaoguai lives near lakes. The jerk kicks Belle off the cart that he and his pals were riding, but Belle picks herself up and earns a "You go, girl," from the audience when she reveals that the Yaoguai actually like to hang out near mountains, not lakes. 
• At the mountain, Belle finds the Yaoguai, which looks like a magical fiery lion, but it attacks her! Just when our intrepid investigator is about to be irreversibly ingested, Mulan shows up and saves her. She's quite and reasonably irked with Belle, given that she'd apparently been tracking the Yaoguai for weeks. I guess she and Shang got divorced...?
• Later, Belle is being bullied in town by the same Traveling Companion as before. Mulan saves her again, reminding us viewers that the female characters on this show are not only the coolest and most epic but by far the most competent. 
• The two women team up, Mulan deciding to cut Belle some slack since Belle can decipher a book that has information about the Yaoguai within. When they arrive near the Yaoguai, Mulan's leg wound flares up (she got it from the bullies apparently, I missed that part when I was staring forlornly at the fridge trying to decide between blueberries or coffee ice cream) and Belle is left to go and beat the Yaoguai alone. 

Yaogaui:

• Belle invents irrigation and drenches the Yaogaui, which then turns back into its true self: Prince Philip! He'd been cursed by Maleficent, but now he's free! Belle introduces him to his one true love new best friend Mulan. Since she's having an excellent night, she bids them goodnight and leaves to go and give Rumpelstiltskin a second chance!

How Belle Feels:

• Then, just in case you were feeling happy, Regina shows up and captures Belle to bring her to the tower. 

How Belle Feels Now:

How the Audience Feels:

Storybrooke:

• After Rumpelstiltskin successfully pulls off an experiment (with Smee as the unwilling guinea pig), everybody else has a funeral for Archie. It's hard to feel sad, because A) we all know he's not really dead and B) I never really liked him that much. (Neither did Gepetto's parents, come and join our club.)
• Rumpelstiltskin explains to Belle that he's created a magic potion that allows him to cross the town line without losing his memory: he just has to put the potion on his most precious object and carry it with him (in order to find his son Baelfire).  For him, this means his wife Meela's shawl. As for me...

...well, he never does quite explain how one would pour magical potion onto paper without ruining it.

• On board the ship, Hook interrogates the still-alive Archie, but doesn't get any information out of him. So, naturally, Hook skips off to the library and tries to nab Belle. He fails, due to Rumpelstiltskin's timely intervention (my, Belle's a bit of a damsel this episode). Belle and Rumpel head back to his shop, which is a wreck-- apparently Hook used Belle as a distraction so he could go and shoplift an Everlasting Gobstobber steal the magical shawl. 
• If you've seen one Rumbelle conversation, you've seen them all. Rumpelstiltskin tells Belle she doesn't understand him and his reasoning  she tells him she wants to, and it goes on for five minutes. Eventually, it's decided that Belle will stay behind while Rumpelstiltskin goes to get the supernatural shawl back. 

• Meanwhile, in a household where passive-aggressive behaviors have yet to win over conversation and the sharing of emotions and ideas, Henry is heartbroken over Archie's supposed death. To deal with the grief, he is listening to Archie's voicemail over and over again. 

• Grumpy interrupts the grief (I guess the Royal Family's place is just sort of the hangout for everybody) by expressing an interest in returning to the Fairytale Land. Snow instantly rejects this, because Downton Abbey Season 3 has just started airing in America and the Fairytale Land lacks even the public channels. Grumpy, Ruby, and the rest of the dwarves point out that humans may very well start wandering into Storybrooke accidentally, and that while human fairytale characters such as Snow and David might be accepted with open arms, your everyday citizen is likely going to be far less tolerant of someone who can turn into a wolf or is born out of an egg fully grown as an adult. 
• We are then whisked away from what would have been a wonderfully interesting debate to see Belle discovering the invisible ship, she's just that good.

(Oh, and Rumpelstiltskin turns Smee into a rat. Apart from all the Pettigrew jokes we now get to make, nobody cares.)

• Belle frees Archie and sends him off to go get help while she investigates the ship, leading to the Horror Movie part of the episode, in which Hook shows up, alludes to Rumpelstiltskin murdering Meela (to which Belle responds with a "meh"), and begins chasing our heroine around the ship. 
• Rumpelstiltskin appears and fights Hook, then begins beating him up. Belle manages to talk him down, but only after Rumpel  reveals some very vengeful and homicidal tendencies still floating around in that magical noggin of his.

Rumpelstiltskin's Not-So-Diplomatic Solution to the Hook Problem:

Banishment. It's where it's at. 

• While all of this exciting detective/horror/soap opera drama is happening down at the docks, more was occurring back in the town. Snow tries to get David to see that they can buy a house in Storybrooke and live a peaceful life watching Maggie Smith be Maggie Smith in British costume dramas. David is not secure enough in his masculinity to watch anything with prominent romantic storylines, so he insists they go back and fight to take back the kingdom...again (from Cora this time.) 
• Snow is a human being who is already ten times more epic than David and knows it. Much as she'd like to go on a reunion tour with the Disney Princess Brigade, she explains to David that she is tired of fighting. It is then that Snow utters perhaps the most realistic and amazing line of the season: "Maybe we want different things." (More on that in the review).
• Archie goes and lets Emma and Henry know that he's alive, which proves that Regina didn't kill him. Henry's all "Ermahgerd I totes knew it," while I'm just like:

• That night, Belle and Rumpelstiltskin drive into the woods together. Much as the Rumbelle shippers would love it, they do NOT proceed to do what most couples might do in a car in the middle of the woods on a Sunday night (okay, it's probably not Sunday in Storybrooke, but it can be like a Friday for them, because Belle basically owns the library and Rumpelstiltskin basically owns the town, so if they want to not go in the next day, they can not go in the next day. Jefferson can live without his copy of Fifty Shades of Grey for one more day). 
• Just as Rumpelstiltskin crosses the town line and is about to depart on his journey to find Baelfire, Hook pops up and shoots Belle, who isn't fatally wounded- yay! On the other hand, she fell over the boundary, so she's lost her memory- nay! 
• Then a car hits Hook and saves the not-so-happy couple before crashing into the side of the road.

What I Thought:

   Oh, Rumbelle. How I loved thee when you first appeared. It was a fun twist on a classic fairy tale, taking someone who was a beast in a far less cuddly way than his mainstream Disney counterpart and pairing him off with someone who had to believe that people can change not just their manners and their habits, but their cores, their very beings. The couple takes the forefront in this episode again, and unfortunately, it's to the episode's overall detriment.
   When you boil away all of the details, this plot boils down to one we've seen at least twice before (2x04, and Belle's premiere episode in Season 1): Rumpelstiltskin is less than perfect. Belle believes in him and he lets her down. Rumpelstiltskin implies he'll try harder next time, and Belle forgives him. Quite honestly, I'm sick of it. Relationships involve forgiveness, it's true, but they also involve effort, and I feel like that's something Rumpelstiltskin is just refusing to give. This is very much a one-sided relationship, in which Rumpelstiltskin gets to use Belle as an emotional crutch while he continues to use magic, torture others, and seek vengeance despite Belle's politely-worded wishes. What is Belle receiving emotionally? Rumpelstiltskin is very clearly showing that he doesn't want to try and change for Belle, not when there are more important things on the line like making up for past mistakes and inadequacies.
   He says he wants his son, and we're led to believe that he is trying to find Baelfire out of love, but let's take a step back and look at the big picture. Baelfire was transported to our world decades ago. He's likely found himself a new life and put his past behind him. Rumpelstiltskin seeking out his son will reopen plenty of old wounds, especially considering that Rumpelstiltskin was not willing to give up his magic to be happy with his son. But Rumpelstiltskin doesn't seem to care; he wants to find Baelfire because it will satisfy his emotional needs, his desire to make up for abandoning Baelfire years ago. Rumpelstiltskin isn't willing to give anything up in a relationship, romantic or fatherly, and I can't keep routing for him and Belle to succeed as a couple. She deserves someone who is willing to do as much for her as she keeps doing for Rumpelstiltskin, time and time again.
   Now, don't get me wrong: I still like Rumpelstiltskin as a character on a redemption arc, I just don't want to see Belle be dragged down with him. There were two other parts of this episode that I adored, along the lines of the "maturity" chain of thought that I wrote about last week. The first was Snow and David's realization that they have two very different plans for their future. Most marital difficulties are threats from within, not armies and sorceresses from without, so it will be intriguing to see how Snow and David handle their varying opinions in future episodes, especially considering that we've seen them deal with far more physical threats than emotional difficulties. Additionally, Ruby and the dwarves' point was a cynical but valid point about human nature: fear of the unknown is a huge motivational factor for many forms of intolerance.

My Score:

5/10. 

Small subplots weren't enough to redeem the main storyline starring Rumbelle's star-crossed love relationship. 

My Questions:

-Are the seeds of some kind of schism being planted in Storybrooke (perhaps David, Ruby, and the dwarves returning to Storybrooke while Snow, Emma, and Rumpelstiltskin remain in our world?)

-How permanent will Belle's amnesia be? Archie's faked death was resolved rather quickly, but other subplots like August's disappearance and Neal's postcard have been patiently put on a shelf by the writers. Will Belle's newest problem be resolved quickly, or is this her new status quo?

-Is Archie getting Pongo back now, or has Emma already filled out the forms? 

Next Week:

Who is the strange man with such poor driving skills? Also, a mother-daughter reunion and Frankenstein freakiness!

 

(Disclaimer: As always, I've used a lot of gifs, cultural references, memes, and photos. If you or someone you know owns/made one of the gifs/photos/etc., comment below and let me know- I'll take it down, if that's what you wish. I don't claim ownership of any of them, I just browse Tumblr and other sites for ones that fit my blog. Also, I own none of the media I reference. "Once Upon a Time" belongs to ABC, Fifty Shades of Grey belongs to E.L. James and her publisher,"The Big Bang Theory" belongs to CBS, "GLEE" belongs to Fox, "The Road to El Dorado" to Dreamworks, the Harry Potter series to J.K. Rowling, "Sherlock" to the BBC and Moffat, etc., etc...I own nothing. This blog is for entertainment purposes only!)

Chapter 10: In Which Charming Brings Back Fur Coats

Well, here we are, folks. We've officially survived the Mayan Apocalypse, the holidays, and the fiscal cliff-- and if you're reading this blog, you've also survived an excruciatingly-long wait for new episodes of ABC's "Once Upon a Time," so pat yourselves on the back.

Tonight, your trial has ended. The sun has come out, a new day has dawned, the Dark Age is dead, Harry Potter's dumped Cho Chang, we're getting a new Star Wars movie, I'm no longer a minor, we had a white Christmas, there are ten billion flavors of Five Gum, and the dog days...well, you get the drift. 

Life is good. Now that that's been established, let's get down to the thick of things-- namely, my recap and review that you awesome peeps kindly read for some reason every week. I love you all! 

What Happened

Storybrooke:

• Hook and Cora are newly-arrived party-crashers in Storybrooke, getting off Hook's big-as-all-getup pirate ship. Cora uses a bit of magic to turn it invisible and advises Hook that he'll need to proceed carefully if he's to take on Rumpelstiltskin in a world that now has magic. (Oh, and they turn some poor dude into a fish. Bullying in Storybrooke is dangerous.)
• The next morning, Emma and Henry walk in on Snow and David. 

Emma:

Henry:

David and Snow:

• Naturally, they flee to make tacos, which is what everyone does when this happens in their life.
• Later, they bring said tacos to a party at Granny's. Regina shows up and is totally awkward and is super-relatable because it's basically how I acted at the parties I've been to in my high school career, which I can count on one hand. Grumpy is a jerk to Regina, but Emma convinces everybody to give Regina a chance. 
• Regina feels awkward and doesn't have the amazing people who seem to find me at parties and make me feel welcome, resulting in her leaving early. Emma tries to get her to stay, and the conversation takes a turn for the worse when Emma mentions that Dr. Archie Hopper told her Regina was trying to change for the better. It's clearly a clear violation of doctor-patient confidentiality, and Regina is understandably furious. She snaps at Emma when the latter denies her the chance to let Henry sleepover, calling Emma out on thinking she could be a mother after "five minutes," when Regina's been doing it for ten years. 

Me:

"You go, Regina."

• Regina apologizes (boo) and Emma accepts it. The next day, Regina goes and yells at Archie, understandably. Ruby is jogging nearby, and somehow accomplishes the remarkable feat of asking them if they have a problem (I say it's remarkable because as part of my New Year's resolution, I have taken up jogging, and I cannot say a word after two minutes of jogging, I'm gasping so hard for breath). Regina tells her to depart with a sassy comment that I cannot do justice to here. Just go watch the episode, it's marvelous. 
• Later, Cora disguises herself as Regina and goes to Archie's apartment, where she kills him! 
• The next morning, Emma and Henry are having breakfast at Granny's, because Emma can't cook anything except tacos and although Henry was tolerant for the first five weeks, it's just not going to happen again. 
• Henry the truant goes to school while Emma and Ruby investigate Archie's office and find his body. They arrest Regina, and it's basically an episode of Law and Order: Storybrooke. David is Stabler and Emma is his Olivia, reigning in his Javert-ian tendencies. 
• After Regina denies doing anything in the interrogation, Emma argues with David and Snow over whether or not Regina has changed, referencing her past as a criminal and how much she changed. Emma essentially points out that, even if Regina hasn't changed, she never would've left so much evidence pointing to her. 
• Emma believes Regina has been framed. They go and talk to Gold, convinced that he did it. He denies it and Belle has no idea that Archie's dead. Where have you been, Belle? 
• Gold gets Archie's dog Pongo and uses a dreamcatcher to help Emma do some magic, in which she accesses Pongo's memories and sees that "Regina"/Cora really did kill Archie. 

Emma:

"I totally stuck up for that----"

• At Regina's house, a fight ensues and Regina uses magic, angry when Emma tells her she'll never see Henry again. Everyone gets super-judgmental and it makes me super-sad for Regina, who poofs away . (Oh. And Regina utters the phrase "I assume you're here to apologize," which I'm expecting to see in at least three Swan Queen videos by the end of the week. AMV-ers, you have your task. Get to it.)
• At the bus stop, Emma is nervous about telling Henry that Archie is dead and Regina apparently killed him. We get a really touching scene where Emma and David and Snow all realize that none of them know how to be parents, but it's okay because really...who does? They'll figure it out. Emma then tells Henry about what happened while Regina watches on from afar, heartbroken as she sees the son she so wanted to prove herself to hear a lie that will break his heart.
• At the docks, it turns out that Cora did kill someone and disguised the body as Archie's, but she doesn't know whose it was. She actually kidnapped Archie, who is now being held on Hook's ship with the intent to torture him for information about Rumpelstiltskin's emotional weaknesses (along with those of everyone else in the town...)

Fairytale Land (Past):

• Snow and Charming capture Regina after defeating King George the Unspecified Numeral. 

How the Capture Goes Down:

Regina:

Snow and Charming:

• (By the way, Charming is wearing a very fashionable fur coat. I hope he brings that back in Storybrooke, the plaid is getting boring.)
• At a counsel meeting, it's essentially decided that they should execute Regina. Snow has a problem with killing, which seems odd considering how much killing there likely was in the war that just ended against King George, but I guess we're just ignoring that. 
• After her dad tells her to show regret in an attempt to get some slack from the royals, Regina flat out ignores him and goes all Disney villain on Snow before she can be executed. Charming's all "Oh my God, Snow, you can't just stop an execution!" but Snow ignores him and chats with Rumpelstiltskin about what's to be done with Regina. Snow truly believes that Regina's good side is still somewhere within her. 
• Rumpelstiltskin comes up with a test to see if Regina has any good in her. Long and cumbersome test short, Regina fails and tries to kill Snow when she lets her go, resulting in her banishment. 
• On the day of The Royal Wedding (the one that didn't involve somebody named Middleton), Rumpelstiltskin points out that while a spell he placed on Charming and Snow to protect them from Regina works in the Fairytale Land, it doesn't work outside of it...setting the stage for her to use the curse. 

What I Thought

   The thing that struck me the most this week wasn't the theme of change, which was deep and intriguing, but I'm sure you all got that yourselves. What I enjoyed this week was the more mature vibe the show had. For a lot of this season, I've missed some of the grittier, more intense themes and aspects of the show's first season. Remember when David was cheating on his Storybrooke-wife Abigail, but it was confusing and divisive among viewers because he was technically married to Snow White? How about when Mary Margaret was suspected of killing David's wife? Even Regina's murder of her own father was incredibly dark. The show continuously showed that fairytales could be scary and their characters could be complex and realistic, and while that hasn't been lacking this season, it hadn't been as strong. 

   The edge was back tonight, for the most part. It started with the bedroom walk-in scene, which was a nice acknowledgment of more adult relationships that didn't get too uncomfortable for younger viewers. The momentum carried on with the murder and the debate over execution and rehabilitation, though a bit was lost when Archie was revealed to be alive (just a bit-- remember, Cora said she had killed someone, and didn't even care who it was!) I think the gritty, grown-up pieces of this episode were things I had been missing, though I didn't quite realize it until tonight. 

    This is a show that tries to appeal to multiple age demographics, and is starting to remember it again. Besides this bright point, other great moments included Emma trying to understand Regina's attempt to change herself, along with the conversation between David, Emma and Snow about parenthood. Two things bothered me this week: the fact that Archie isn't really dead (I was hoping the stakes would be raised a bit by showing us that main characters can die and actually stay dead, but so far the show keeps offering ways out: Abigail and Archie both turned out not to have actually been murdered, while Prince Charming looks like he's not gone for good, based on the ending of the winter finale) and the dialogue in the Fairytale Land. It's very stiff and stilted at times, like the writers can't decide whether they're going for classic fantasy tongues or something more...modernized, like the Percy Jackson series, where mythological creatures have updated themselves to the modern world. The soldier who gave the report to Regina in the opening scene was particularly distracting. 

My Score:

6/10.

The episode dragged a little bit in the middle, but had a lot of good character moments and a fantastic return to some of its more adult themes. 

My Questions:

• Who was the person that Cora actually killed: Random Citizen #17, or somebody we care about more? 
• Now that Regina's an outlaw, will she be forced to try and flee Storybrooke (or live in the woods and frolic with a resurrected Graham?)
• Will everyone believe that Regina killed Archie? I feel like Gold might suspect something's up...

Next Week:

Grumpy wants to return to the Fairytale Land, and Rumpelstiltskin plays a deadly game of hopscotch.

(Disclaimer: As always, I've used a lot of gifs, cultural references, memes, and photos. If you or someone you know owns/made one of the gifs/photos/etc., comment below and let me know- I'll take it down, if that's what you wish. I don't claim ownership of any of them, I just browse Tumblr and other sites for ones that fit my blog. Also, I own none of the media I reference. "Once Upon a Time" belongs to ABC, Percy Jackson belongs to Rick Riordan,"The Big Bang Theory" belongs to CBS, "GLEE" belongs to Fox, etc., etc...I own nothing. Entertainment purposes only!)