Chapter 16: In Which Eva is Rude for No Particularly Good Reason, as She Was Presumably Having an Adequate Day

Oh, my. This WILL be a controversial one, and I love that so much. I'm not going to take much of a stance in this review/recap, but I'm already discussing Snow's decision on Facebook with some friends. If you need a break from debating over the ethical decisions of fictional characters, buy yourself fifteen minutes or so by reading my review/recap of ABC's great show, "Once Upon a Time", episode 2x16: "The Miller's Daughter."

What Happened

The Fairytale Land (past)

• A young woman who looks as stressed as I felt during the midterms of my junior year arrives at her father's mill. He's lazy and she's annoyed, so she has no choice but to do the work herself and bring some bags of flour to the palace. 
• At the palace, Princess Eva (Snow's mother!) trips the young woman, causing her to spill flour and snap at Eva. Princess Eva is being escorted by a Prince Henry and his father, the king. The king's a total jerk to the young miller's daughter, making her kneel to Eva and apologize for something that she didn't even do. We find out that the miller's daughter's name... is Cora! 

• Cut to a party, but not just any party...a certain kind of party that a certain Andrew Lloyd Webber is fond of...a certain ball...

• That's right, Cora is sneaking in to a masquerade ball, just like the kind everyone dreams their prom will be themed after! Cora, looking stunning as ever in a wondrous shade of crimson, dances and flirts with the prince. It turns out this is a ball for the prince to be sold to whichever princess can offer the highest bid (apparently even medieval fantasty lands can have recessions). After Cora gives us the first use of the word "whoring" in the show's history, she trades partners and winds up with the king.
• The nasty king recognizes her as the miller's daughter. He plans to throw her out, since obviously she can't bid on the prince when she's poor herself. On a spur of the moment (and rather silly, but let's not get too judgy, I'm sure we've all said something dumb before when we've been flustered) decision, Cora proclaims she can spin straw into gold.
• If you haven't been ignoring Western Europe's medieval shenanigans for the last seven hundred years or so, you'll know what happens next. Cora winds up in a tower, locked with a roomful of straw that needs to be gold by the time the king hits his snooze button. Enter Rumpelstiltskin!!!
• He tells Cora that her name isn't very pretty and "sounds like something breaking," but he eventually agrees to teach her to spin straw into gold in exchange for her firstborn child.

"Sounds like EQUALISTS breaking!"

• We then are treated to a rather sensual (and well-made) scene where Rumpelstiltskin teaches Cora that magic is all about emotion. She needs to tap into her anger and think about what she wants...While Rumpelstiltskin gives her a massage, Cora spins gold.
• Cora proves herself to the King and gets to marry Prince Henry. We flash-forward to the night before her wedding. She and Rumpelstiltskin canoodle a bit, and Cora promises that any children she has by Rumpelstiltskin (ONLY by him) will belong to the deal-maker.
• After a conversation with the King that began with Cora intending to kill him and ended with Cora taking her own heart out ( having been told that love is weakness) Cora tells Rumpelstiltskin that she cannot run off with him. That's right, everyone...someone dumped Rump.



You Guys:

• I'm sorry, I couldn't resist, you guys...I was having too much PUN!

You Guys, Part II:

• Okay, now I'm done.
• Baby Regina gets a really fun "Lion King" moment when Cora lifts her up dramatically and everyone at court kneels to her.







Storybrooke (now)

• Henry obnoxiously grins while he drives the boat back to town. Within, Emma tells a pained Rumpelstiltskin that they're "family now," so she won't let him die. I cannot tell you how much my mom and I shuddered as we watched this scene. It felt like I was watching a giant spider crawl across the screen...
• Meanwhile, Cora and Regina are listening to Snow and David talk on the phone using a wire tap. (I wonder how many conversation's Regina's heard... ) Cora pushes the wire tap to the ground with more nonchalant than the first Chalant of Non herself, annoyed at the silly "Enchanted Box."
• Before Regina can start explaining that possessed mirrors are no longer the preferred method of talking to your friends, Cora proclaims she needs to kill Rumpelstiltskin with the dagger before he dies of the poison from Hook's hook, or else she won't become the Dark One.
• The Manhattan team arrives back in town. They all squeeze into Rumpelstiltskin's store, where he helps Emma make defenses with invisible chalk.

          and a protection spell

        
        that's also fueled by her emotions. Regina and Cora promptly bust through the spell, and while the fight
        begins, Snow slips out to go on a secret mission: she must get Cora's heart, use the candle from last
        episode (which Mr. Gold gave to her) on it, and then somehow put the heart back into Cora.

• While Snow whispers the name and gives the heart to Regina, who has teleported away from the fight briefly (Snow tells her that if Cora finally has a heart again, she will be capable of feeling love for her daughter), Rumpelstiltskin calls the amnesiac Belle and tells her that he loves her. "You find goodness in others, and when it's not there...you create it." That line was beautiful, I'll grudgingly admit. 

Rumbelle Fans Everywhere:

The people supporting her are the Captain Swan, Swan Thief, and Wooden Swan fans coming together in a rare moment of camaraderie. 

• Cora manages to make her way to Rumpelstiltskin after poofing Neil and Emma into the woods. (Swan Thief fans probably had a field day with that little set-up. I can see the fanfics now... "A Walk in the Woods: The Miller's Daughter Epilogue.") 
• She tells him that the reason she took out her heart was because Rumpelstiltskin was Cora's only weakness- the only man she ever loved. Just then, Regina bursts in and shoves the heart into Cora. Cora loves her daughter for one brief moment before collapsing and dying on the ground. 
• Snow bursts in, and Regina gives her a death glare of death and deceasement and termination and skulls-and-crossbones.

What I Thought

   This was the first time in a long time that I realized my heart was beating faster because of what was happening onscreen. I'm guessing most of us narrowed the character marked for death to either Gold or Cora after the first fifteen minutes, but from that point on the show kept me guessing. I knew that no matter who died, the show would be making a bold move. If Rumpelstiltskin were to die, the show would be getting rid of one of its main protagonists and antagonists, along with the actor who arguably helped cement the show in viewers' minds. Robert Carlyle is one of the biggest reasons this show became popular, at least in my book. He took a character who most of us probably thought of as a silly little imp that didn't even have a Disney movie on his list of accomplishments, and made him into a morally complex, insanely intelligent, rather terrifying force of nature that should be reckoned with. With that in mind, killing him off would have been a tremendous risk that could have changed the course of "Once Upon a Time" forever...

   ...but with Cora's death, the show has gone down another dark road. Snow White- the first princess in Disney canon, a voice of reason and a symbol of purity and kindness, the mother of the show- has committed murder. People may argue Regina had a hand in it, but that's like saying that the waiter is to blame  for an e. coli outbreak if the cook serves up under-cooked meat. Snow killed Cora. It may have been to protect her family and friends, and she probably killed people before in the war...but the lack of a battle setting is sure to make this stand out to her and to the people she knows. 

Say what you will about her, but you certainly can't call Snow "passive" anymore.

   

   This was gutsy of the show, considering the wide age range of the audience. I'm really pleased that the writers were allowed to do this, and I'm really looking forward to seeing how Snow develops from here on out. This was unpredictable, this was game-changing, and this was good character development that didn't feel forced. Give me more, "Once Upon a Time." Give me more. 

My Score:

9/10. 

That's for keeping us guessing and taking a chance that payed off. 

My Questions:

-How is everyone going to react to this? Who will be judgy, who will be concerned, who will grit their teeth and tell her that she chose the lesser of two evils? 

-Where is August and why doesn't anyone care? 

-How many times this season has a heart been ripped out of someone's chest? Somebody needs to make a montage set to Taio Cruz's "Break Your Heart."

Next Episode:

Consequences...

(Disclaimer: As always, I've used a lot of gifs, memes, photos, and cultural references in this review/recap. None of them are mine! If you or someone you know owns/made own of the gifs/photos/etc., comment below and let me know- I'll take it down, if that's what you wish. I don't claim ownership of any of them, I just browse Tumblr and other websites for stuff that could fit into my blog and its reviews/recaps. Also, I own none of the media I reference. "Once Upon a Time" belongs to ABC , "The Phantom of the Opera" belongs to Andrew Lloyd Weber, "The Legend of Korra" belongs to Nickelodeon, "The Emperor's New Groove" belongs to Disney, "Game of Thrones" belongs to HBO, I don't know Jennifer Lawrence,  etc., etc...I own nothing! This blog is for entertainment purposes only!!! Also, this show is written, acted, produced and made by people far more successful than me thus far in my life. I really do like it, and I only critique because I care! I  know far less about the world than I pretentiously seem to.)

Chapter 15: In Which The Blue Fairy Tries

I've rediscovered "Wicked," still have dried paint on my fingernails from set-building, and just got back from playing cards with friends. I think it's safe to say that today has been a dramatic day, just as the episode of ABC's "Once Upon a Time" that I'll be recapping and reviewing (2x15: "The Queen is Dead") was packed with drama. But was it of the quality "Grey's Anatomy" Season 7 kind, or more of the "Heroes" Season 3 variety? Read on to find out!

What Happened

The Fairytale Land (flashback)

• It's a young Snow White's birthday eve, so she and her regal mother are busy preparing for the big celebration! But lo- Mrs. Padmore from Downton Abbey, here portraying a servant called Johanna, dares to try on little Snow's new tiara! 

Snow:

Snow's Mom:

• Snow's mom explains that  being born into royalty- an action that took literally no effort on Snow's part, either in the womb or out of it- is not a quality that makes one inherently better than anyone else, and that therefore Snow shouldn't treat servants like they're inferior. Just as we all clamor over each other to give this queen the "Mother of the Year" Award for 2013, she starts coughing up a lung. 

• Quite. 
• At the advice of Johanna, little Snow goes off into the woods to try and find a cure from the Blue Fairy. She finds and talks to said forest-dweller, who suspiciously switches from insisting that there is nothing fairies can do to prevent death...to offering Snow a candle that can exchange the life force of a chosen sacrifice for that of Snow's mother. The fairy makes Snow promise not to tell...
• ...but Snow finds she cannot bring herself to use the candle, since her mother has been trying so hard to teach her to make the morally right choices in life. Tearfully, she explains to the Queen what happened. Her proud mother smiles before dying. 

There are onions in the next room...that's why. 

• After Snow bravely goes to her mom's funeral with Johanna, we find out that the Blue Fairy was Cora in disguise, and that she poisoned Snow's mom. Through Cora's "Muahaha" speech, we learn that she deeply wants to corrupt Snow as a way to get back at the deceased Queen for...something. 

Storybrooke

• IT'S SNOW WHITE'S BIRTHDAAAAAAY!

• But due to the traumatic memories of her mom dying on an early birthday, Snow White doesn't want to celebrate. She goes to visit Johanna, whose whereabouts in Storybrooke were previously unknown (further proof that this is a honking big small town, there's got to be loads of fairytale characters we've yet to see living there.)  Johanna's gift to her is the tiara that her mother gave her on that birthday long ago. 
• After talking to her old servant/mother figure about the long-dead queen, Snow stumbles upon Regina and Cora looking for the dagger. She runs to the sheriff station, where David is just waking up after being knocked out by Hook. (Hook really wanted his hook back.) They decide to buy time for Emma to get back and help. 
• Snow and Regina have an intense stare-down that would make the most uptight school administrator admit defeat. Basically, Snow offers Regina to rejoin "the side of good," while Regina calls her out on her hypocrisy. 
• Mother Superior (aka The Blue Fairy) meets Snow and David in front of Rumpelstiltskin's store. They try to break in using her magic, but her wand won't work. 

• Just as Snow is bringing up the possibility of using dark magic, she gets a call from Emma. Emma tells her where Rumpelstiltskin's dagger is: the clock tower. 
• Snow and David rush up and find the dagger, so that's good. Regina and Cora poof in Nightcrawler style, so that's bad. A fierce stand-off results when Cora magicks Johanna into the tower, offering a trade for the dagger. Snow eventually gives Cora the dagger, but Johanna is killed, anyway. 
• While Snow and David bury Johanna, Cora reveals to Regina (in nowhere less than Regina's old office, stylish as ever) that she arranged for Snow's horse to go crazy, all those years ago, so that Regina could become the queen. Regina articulates a fear that her mother just wants to destroy the Royal Family, not help her get Henry back, but Cora puts this fear down in a rather unconvincing way. 
• Snow tells David that the side of Good doesn't seem to work...people keep dying and being taken away from her. That said, she's decided to kill Cora. 

Manhattan

• Neil and Henry go get pizza while Rumpelstiltskin and Emma discuss how sad it is to feel unloved by their children. One of them deserves the lack of love, one does not. Can you guess which? 
• Henry delivers the ugliest line ever heard on this show when Emma asks him if he likes the pizza. "Great! It's cheesy, delicious, and doesn't lie." 

#sosickofhiscrap

• Just as the pretentious little plot device is asking Rumpelstiltskin if he can call him "Grandpa" (BTW: the answer is a resounding "NO"), Hook jumps out and attacks Rumpelstiltskin with his hook, which has been rubbed with poison since it was stolen back from David. 
• After Emma locks Hook in a closet, the group manages to get Rumpelstiltskin back into Nei's apartment. They decide to take Rumpelstiltskin back to Storybrooke, where magic can save him. 
• Neil reveals that he knows how to drive Hook's ship, since "Earth wasn't my first stop after I left home...otherwise I'd be a few hundred years old." The audience squees, Emma gets Rumpy to tell her where his dagger is, he does, and that leads into the phone call I mentioned earlier. 
• Neil and Emma go to get his car so they can drive to the harbor. Neil's FIANCE (I didn't catch her name, if someone could inform me it would be LOVELY) hugs him goodbye. 

What I Thought

   I would like to breathe a huge sigh of contentment. This was much better than last week's episode, on multiple levels. Since I'm posting these reviews in such close proximity (from a time standpoint), let's talk about this episode in regards to the complaints I laid against the previous one. 

   My first major complaint last week was that the episode didn't use its potential well. Everything was predictable, everything was safe, nothing felt unexpected, and the writers didn't take advantage of the story elements they had before them to break new ground. This episode kicked that one out of its apartment and got a much better new roommate who actually paid their share of the rent. Seriously, kudos on killing off Johanna. I know we just met her this episode, but I thought it was gutsy to kill a character that the writers so quickly established as Snow's surrogate mother. When was the last time a character with a name actually died? Archie was a total fake-out, so this was cool to see- not because I like seeing beloved characters die, but because it raised the stakes. I know now that Regina and Cora [and more importantly, the writers?] mean business. We're still not to the "Nobody is safe" state of mind that many dramas want their audience to be at, but that's okay. This was a big step forward. 

   Snow's identity crisis this episode was also intriguing, as was the flashback. Little Snow's storyline (by the way, her actress is impeccable in terms of how much she acts like Ginnifer Goodwin, Snow White's adult actress) was important to the main Storybrooke plot this week, unlike Rumpelstiltskin's in "Manhattan." We needed to see that Snow White has contemplated dark (yet understandable and, in the case of Cora, maybe even practical) options before in order to see that her vendetta against Cora is viable. Without that flashback, we wouldn't have believed that Snow would ever go through with killing Cora. Now, though...I'm not so sure. This is so much better than Rumpelstiltskin's because it was nothing new, nothing we didn't already know, EXCEPT for the final prophecy regarding Henry. But surely that could have been delivered in a better way. 

   Potential was being taken advantage of across the board this week. Neil having a fiance should make for great drama later on, not to mention Cora's incredibly strategic mind that, when combined with her extreme "mother bear" instincts, has caused so much of the plot on the show. 

   Per my second point, the characters we took a look at this week (little Snow White and adult Snow/Mary Margaret) are far more sympathetic than Gold and Henry. Let's compare the kids and adults. Henry is probably acting a bit more like the average eleven-year-old, so perhaps he's at a disadvantage; still, his whining, rejection of people who make choices he doesn't like or understand, and know-it-all attitude makes his grandmother at his age look far deeper, more complex, and like a much stronger individual. Snow faces ethical dilemmas and makes tough choices that weigh deeply on her. She learns from her mother and takes on the enormous responsibility of attending her mother's funeral in a leadership position. That's impressive and admirable; it's something I don't know if I could do now, much less at her age. I think the differences in how I view these two characters is that, while I look for relatable protagonists with flaws, I also look for heroes-- people who inspire me to be better, who face dire consequences that I never have, but can still connect with. Snow presents that to me in a way that Henry does not. 

   When it comes to the adults, a similar principle applies. Rumpelstiltskin and grown-up Snow/Mary Margaret have both recently been humanized, but Rumpelstiltskin's flaw (his selfishness, not his cowardice) is magnified to such a great extent that I don't want to relate to him. Snow's ethical decision this episode, however, is a scary yet realistic one. Cora has been putting those she loves in danger for her entire life. Her mother and Johanna are dead, and her daughter has been repeatedly put up against grave threats. Cora will most likely try and hurt or kill more of the people she loves. Should Snow compromise her morality, which has done nothing but compromise her in the past? This is thought-provoking, brain-stumping stuff that Snow has to deal with, whereas Rumpelstiltskin just keeps repeating himself.  

My Score:

8/10. 

Thought-provoking dilemmas and upped stakes takes the cake this week. 

My Questions:

• Assuming us Captain Swan shippers (people who wants Emma and Captain Hook to fall in love) are not totally crazy and a love quadrangle between Neil, Emma, Kilian and Neil's fiance (whose name I didn't quite catch) is indeed being set up, will it blossom in the final episodes of this season, or are the writers looking ahead to Season 3 and beyond? 
• Neil's been shown to be a mostly-decent guy so far, doing everything out of love for Emma in the past and desiring to reconnect with his long-lost son immediately. He didn't try and deny to Emma that he's moved on romantically, and is putting aside his justified anger to help his jerk of a father. That said...what's his flaw? What's wrong with him? What character trait is he going to have to struggle with? 
• Will Neil call out Henry on the crappy treatment he doles out to his mothers? 

Next Week (technically tonight, but shush):

Will Snow follow through? Will Regina follow suit with Cora's commands? 

(Disclaimer: As always, I've used a lot of gifs, memes, photos, and cultural references in this review/recap. None of them are mine! If you or someone you know owns/made own of the gifs/photos/etc., comment below and let me know- I'll take it down, if that's what you wish. I don't claim ownership of any of them, I just browse Tumblr and other websites for stuff that could fit into my blog and its reviews/recaps. Also, I own none of the media I reference. "Once Upon a Time" belongs to ABC , as does "The B in Apartment 23," "Downton Abbey" belongs to the BBC, "Heroes" belongs to NBC, "Grey's Anatomy" belongs to ABC, I don't know Mila Kunis or Tom Hiddleston, etc., etc...I own nothing! This blog is for entertainment purposes only!!! Also, this show is written, acted, produced and made by people far more successful than me thus far in my life. I really do like it, and I only critique because I care! I  know far less about the world than I pretentiously seem to.)

   

Chapter 14: In Which Harry Potter is Used as Therapy

Shortly before I could publish this, I was kidnapped by Regina and locked in her castle, where she made me interview her for a biography on her life. I tried to explain to her that I had other writing projects, namely this, that needed work done, but she started tossing around fireballs. I've only been released long enough to cobble together the first draft, since I convinced her computers work faster for writing. Be glad you guys got this review at all! ;)


What Happened:

Baelfire is Neil. Who knew. 

What I Thought:

I didn't like it. 

Next W-

MY READERS:

   Yeah, yeah, I know I normally give you more than that, and I still plan on it. But I really did not enjoy tonight's episode of ABC's normally-fabulous "Once Upon a Time," 2x14: "Manhattan." On multiple levels. I'm watching "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban" (technically listening to it as I type, but whatever), I so did not enjoy this episode. I need good, quality stories about magic with well-written kids/early teenagers and believable characterization, and this episode simply did not deliver.Let's get the recap out of the way so I can whine about the work of successful screenwriters and television directors. Hopefully someday I will write a successful show and some kid will whine about the worst episode I write. 

What Happened (Attempt #2)

The Fairytale Land (The Past)

• Rumpelstiltskin is looking the best he has since he discovered coconut butter skin cream. He just got his Early Decision acceptance letter from the local militia to go and fight in the Ogre Wars! His wife, Mila, is quite happy for him, especially since it's the chance he wanted to prove that he's not a coward like his father. 
• At a camp near the front-lines, Rumpelstiltskin meets an imprisoned seer with eyes that look scary beyond all reason. She tells him that Rumpelstiltskin's actions here will "make his son fatherless." Rumpelstiltskin assumes this means he'll die, so he maims himself with a hammer. 

Marvelous plan, old boy. 

• Needless to say, Mila is less than pleased with this upon his return. She goes off to scope out local single pirates in her zip code. 
• Years later, Rumpelstiltskin meets the seer. There's a lot of back and forth about how terrible her life is because of her seer powers. Rumpelstiltskin takes her power, which kills her and gives her peace. He also learns that he will find his son Baelfire in many years, and that a young boy will lead him to Bae and then be his undoing...

Storybrooke/Manhattan

• Henry, Emma, and Rumpelstiltskin arrive at an apartment building in New York. (Apparently Henry got to ride shotgun in the taxi. He probably used the Book as an excuse. "Emma, trust me- in the Book, I was riding up front. Now, maybe it doesn't mean anything, but the Book hasn't led us astray so far..." And yes, he would use the word "astray," because he's that pretentious.)
• Someone jumps out of the apartment fire escape, and Rumpelstiltskin knows that whoever it is is his son. Emma chases him, and learns that it's Neil. Neil is Baelfire. 

Said no one ever. 

• Neil and Emma walk into a bar. (No, this is not the start of an over-told joke.) They discuss their relationship, and how Neil didn't know who Emma was when he fell in love with her. We also get the most ridiculous reveal ever: When August showed Bae something in the box to convince him that he knew about magic, it was the typewriter with the words "I KNOW YOU'RE BAELFIRE" written on a sheet of paper. This doesn't even make sense, why didn't August just say "Hello, Baelfire" as a conversation starter, it would've saved everyone so much time. 
• Emma ditches Neil without telling him about Henry and calls Snow for advice, but ignores it and doesn't tell Henry who his dad is. The trio breaks into Neil's apartment, but get into a fight when Rumpel suspects she's lying to him about losing his son in the chase. 
• When Mr. Gold reveals that his anger management problem is still...well, a problem, Neil bursts in and tells Gold to GTFO. Rumpelstiltskin is apparently quite intuitive and realizes that Emma and Neil have something between them, and then Henry walks in and obnoxiously gets in the way. Neil quickly starts to put the pieces together and realizes that Henry is his son, which angers Henry because he thought that his father was a dead fireman, as Emma told him. 

We're disappointed that Baelfire is your dad, too, Henry. Whatcha gonna do?

• Henry goes outside to think about his deep angst artistically on a fire escape. He's probably hearing a L'Oreal commercial in the background while his hair blows in the wind, which is okay, because for this entire part of the episode I was hearing the soundtrack of "Mamma Mia," it just fits the adoption/parenthood drama so well. 
• Baelfire/Neil and Mr. Gold have a conversation which boils down to...

Gold:

"I moderately regret what I've done because it had negative consequences for me and mine, though I still think I didn't do anything that could be considered ethically questionable. "

Bae/Neil:

• Emma tries to convince Henry that she was lying about Neil's identity to keep Henry safe. Henry doesn't but it, but he does get to bond with Bae (alliteration is amazingly appealing) on the balcony [/fire escape]. 
• Back in Storybrooke, Cora is looking 

          in her twenty-first century attire. Not to mention her hair is down, and it looks really cool. But I   

          digress. Basically, in this episode, Regina, Cora and Hook go on a mini-scavenger hunt for 

          Rumpelstiltskin's dagger. They find a map with its location, so to Regina and Cora knocking out Hook

          and departing. Cora declares that shall use its magic to destroy the Royal Family and get Henry back!

• Oh, yeah, Greg Mendel has a recording on Rumpelstiltskin doing magic.

What I Thought:

   Let's address the reveal this episode so we can move on to ranting about other things: Neil is Baelfire. Baelfire is Neil. Neil is Henry's father, ergo Rumpelstiltskin is Henry's grandfather. Most of the fandom predicted this, probably because Neil is the only named character I can think of who lives outside of Storybrooke. Barring actually making Baelfire a new character all grown up, there was no other option. Perhaps if Rumpelstiltskin hadn't been so convinced his son was outside of Storybrooke, there might have been more contenders, but his quest into the main part of America pretty much confirmed it couldn't be anyone within the town. That left Neil, and a lot of us were irked that we didn't get a more creative reveal. But all shows have predictable moments, so we shouldn't judge the show solely based on that. 

   What we SHOULD judge this episode on can be split into two main points: wasted potential, and unsympathetic characters that the writers demanded us to sympathize with. As far as potential goes this episode, it had a lot: Emma, Rumpelstiltskin and Henry go on an adventure to New York, searching for Baelfire! That screams fun character interactions and scenarios, but all of the scenes felt very dry and formulaic. Nothing unexpected happened. The group found Baelfire, argued a bit, but are on a track to healing (except for Neil and Rumpel, but I never expected that.) Meanwhile, in Storybrooke, another fun bunch of characters barely got any scenes on a quest that could've been completed much faster. The Fairytale Land storyline was the rotten cherry on top; the only thing of value we learned from it was that Rumpelstiltskin's downfall is prophesied to come at the hands of the boy who leads him to his son-- aka, Henry. This has the potential to be really interesting, because of how Rumpelstiltskin may choose to deal with the prophecy, but it should have been delivered better. We already know that Rumpel was a coward. We know he ran away from a battle, and we didn't need to know more. Instead the show gave us a rather convoluted story about a seer, his father, and his leg. 

   Why did we need an episode about how Rumpelstiltskin "became" a coward? Cowardice isn't a state of being or a disease, it's a human flaw. Everyone has at least one (most of us several), and I really object to the writers' seeming belief that all fatal flaws need to have some "incident" that sparks them. You don't get "turned into" an alcoholic from one wild party, just like buying expensive jeans once will not turn you into a greedy miser, or critiquing self-made art will not make you self-loathing. Rumpelstiltskin has been shown in flashbacks to be very fearful of the world and of conflict, but in this episode he seems outgoing and cocky before going to the frontline. The prophecy and his self-maiming are portrayed as the turning point in his life when he "became" a coward, despite the fact that his cowardice is more likely something Rumpel always has and always will have to deal with.
   Now, when it comes to the two characters the show deeply wanted our hearts to go out to, Henry and Rumpelstiltskin...I'll  only briefly discuss Rumpelstiltskin, because I've already made my thoughts on his selfish nature quite clear in earlier reviews. He cares about his emotions, not Bae's- the entire point of this mission is to bring Bae back into his father's life, whether Bae wants it or not. That's selfishness disguised with love, and I loved that Bae called Gold out on his behavior and didn't give him what he wanted.
   Secondly, Henry. It's no secret that I despise his bratty pretentiousness, but this episode really took the cake in terms of his rude behavior. It's understandable that he'd be hurt over Emma lying to him, but he was really quite cruel to her. It's like whenever he gets into a fight with a parental figure, he looks to another as a kind of savior from the undesirable qualities of the former. He did it with Regina, and now it appears he's doing it to Emma, at least temporarily. I just don't see how the show can portray him and Rumpel as likable heroes with the way they've been behaving in this episode.

My Score:

2/10. 

The predictable plot was cluttered with unnecessary tangents and unlikable "heroes."

My Questions:

• Cora is clearly loving modern-day clothing...what other parts of 21st-century America is she digging? Does she adore fast food? Is "Jersey Shore" her new guilty pleasure? Perhaps she's already applying to Harvard's law school so that she can learn the rules of this land and work her way up to a Presidential Candidate? ("Cora 2020!")
• Who will Henry go to when Neil acts parental?
• Will Regina go along with Cora's plan? 

Next Week (at the time I watched this):

Snow goes solo against Cora, and Rumpelstiltskin draws the attention back to himself!

(Disclaimer: As always, I've used a lot of gifs, memes, photos, and cultural references in this review/recap. If you or someone you know owns/made own of the gifs/photos/etc., comment below and let me know- I'll take it down, if that's what you wish. I don't claim ownership of any of them, I just browse Tumblr and other websites for stuff that could fit into my blog and its reviews/recaps. Also, I own none of the media I reference. "Once Upon a Time" belongs to ABC , "Doctor Who" to the BBC, "Game of Thrones" to HBO and George R.R. Martin, "House" to Fox, "The Little Mermaid" to Disney, "How I Met Your Mother" to CBS, etc., etc. ...I own nothing! This blog is for entertainment purposes only!!! Also, this show is written, acted, produced and made by people far more successful than me thus far in my life. I really do like it, and I only critique because I care! I  know far less about the world than I pretentiously seem to.)