Chapter 15: In Which The Blue Fairy Tries

I've rediscovered "Wicked," still have dried paint on my fingernails from set-building, and just got back from playing cards with friends. I think it's safe to say that today has been a dramatic day, just as the episode of ABC's "Once Upon a Time" that I'll be recapping and reviewing (2x15: "The Queen is Dead") was packed with drama. But was it of the quality "Grey's Anatomy" Season 7 kind, or more of the "Heroes" Season 3 variety? Read on to find out!

What Happened

The Fairytale Land (flashback)

• It's a young Snow White's birthday eve, so she and her regal mother are busy preparing for the big celebration! But lo- Mrs. Padmore from Downton Abbey, here portraying a servant called Johanna, dares to try on little Snow's new tiara! 

Snow:

Snow's Mom:

• Snow's mom explains that  being born into royalty- an action that took literally no effort on Snow's part, either in the womb or out of it- is not a quality that makes one inherently better than anyone else, and that therefore Snow shouldn't treat servants like they're inferior. Just as we all clamor over each other to give this queen the "Mother of the Year" Award for 2013, she starts coughing up a lung. 

• Quite. 
• At the advice of Johanna, little Snow goes off into the woods to try and find a cure from the Blue Fairy. She finds and talks to said forest-dweller, who suspiciously switches from insisting that there is nothing fairies can do to prevent death...to offering Snow a candle that can exchange the life force of a chosen sacrifice for that of Snow's mother. The fairy makes Snow promise not to tell...
• ...but Snow finds she cannot bring herself to use the candle, since her mother has been trying so hard to teach her to make the morally right choices in life. Tearfully, she explains to the Queen what happened. Her proud mother smiles before dying. 

There are onions in the next room...that's why. 

• After Snow bravely goes to her mom's funeral with Johanna, we find out that the Blue Fairy was Cora in disguise, and that she poisoned Snow's mom. Through Cora's "Muahaha" speech, we learn that she deeply wants to corrupt Snow as a way to get back at the deceased Queen for...something. 

Storybrooke

• IT'S SNOW WHITE'S BIRTHDAAAAAAY!

• But due to the traumatic memories of her mom dying on an early birthday, Snow White doesn't want to celebrate. She goes to visit Johanna, whose whereabouts in Storybrooke were previously unknown (further proof that this is a honking big small town, there's got to be loads of fairytale characters we've yet to see living there.)  Johanna's gift to her is the tiara that her mother gave her on that birthday long ago. 
• After talking to her old servant/mother figure about the long-dead queen, Snow stumbles upon Regina and Cora looking for the dagger. She runs to the sheriff station, where David is just waking up after being knocked out by Hook. (Hook really wanted his hook back.) They decide to buy time for Emma to get back and help. 
• Snow and Regina have an intense stare-down that would make the most uptight school administrator admit defeat. Basically, Snow offers Regina to rejoin "the side of good," while Regina calls her out on her hypocrisy. 
• Mother Superior (aka The Blue Fairy) meets Snow and David in front of Rumpelstiltskin's store. They try to break in using her magic, but her wand won't work. 

• Just as Snow is bringing up the possibility of using dark magic, she gets a call from Emma. Emma tells her where Rumpelstiltskin's dagger is: the clock tower. 
• Snow and David rush up and find the dagger, so that's good. Regina and Cora poof in Nightcrawler style, so that's bad. A fierce stand-off results when Cora magicks Johanna into the tower, offering a trade for the dagger. Snow eventually gives Cora the dagger, but Johanna is killed, anyway. 
• While Snow and David bury Johanna, Cora reveals to Regina (in nowhere less than Regina's old office, stylish as ever) that she arranged for Snow's horse to go crazy, all those years ago, so that Regina could become the queen. Regina articulates a fear that her mother just wants to destroy the Royal Family, not help her get Henry back, but Cora puts this fear down in a rather unconvincing way. 
• Snow tells David that the side of Good doesn't seem to work...people keep dying and being taken away from her. That said, she's decided to kill Cora. 

Manhattan

• Neil and Henry go get pizza while Rumpelstiltskin and Emma discuss how sad it is to feel unloved by their children. One of them deserves the lack of love, one does not. Can you guess which? 
• Henry delivers the ugliest line ever heard on this show when Emma asks him if he likes the pizza. "Great! It's cheesy, delicious, and doesn't lie." 

#sosickofhiscrap

• Just as the pretentious little plot device is asking Rumpelstiltskin if he can call him "Grandpa" (BTW: the answer is a resounding "NO"), Hook jumps out and attacks Rumpelstiltskin with his hook, which has been rubbed with poison since it was stolen back from David. 
• After Emma locks Hook in a closet, the group manages to get Rumpelstiltskin back into Nei's apartment. They decide to take Rumpelstiltskin back to Storybrooke, where magic can save him. 
• Neil reveals that he knows how to drive Hook's ship, since "Earth wasn't my first stop after I left home...otherwise I'd be a few hundred years old." The audience squees, Emma gets Rumpy to tell her where his dagger is, he does, and that leads into the phone call I mentioned earlier. 
• Neil and Emma go to get his car so they can drive to the harbor. Neil's FIANCE (I didn't catch her name, if someone could inform me it would be LOVELY) hugs him goodbye. 

What I Thought

   I would like to breathe a huge sigh of contentment. This was much better than last week's episode, on multiple levels. Since I'm posting these reviews in such close proximity (from a time standpoint), let's talk about this episode in regards to the complaints I laid against the previous one. 

   My first major complaint last week was that the episode didn't use its potential well. Everything was predictable, everything was safe, nothing felt unexpected, and the writers didn't take advantage of the story elements they had before them to break new ground. This episode kicked that one out of its apartment and got a much better new roommate who actually paid their share of the rent. Seriously, kudos on killing off Johanna. I know we just met her this episode, but I thought it was gutsy to kill a character that the writers so quickly established as Snow's surrogate mother. When was the last time a character with a name actually died? Archie was a total fake-out, so this was cool to see- not because I like seeing beloved characters die, but because it raised the stakes. I know now that Regina and Cora [and more importantly, the writers?] mean business. We're still not to the "Nobody is safe" state of mind that many dramas want their audience to be at, but that's okay. This was a big step forward. 

   Snow's identity crisis this episode was also intriguing, as was the flashback. Little Snow's storyline (by the way, her actress is impeccable in terms of how much she acts like Ginnifer Goodwin, Snow White's adult actress) was important to the main Storybrooke plot this week, unlike Rumpelstiltskin's in "Manhattan." We needed to see that Snow White has contemplated dark (yet understandable and, in the case of Cora, maybe even practical) options before in order to see that her vendetta against Cora is viable. Without that flashback, we wouldn't have believed that Snow would ever go through with killing Cora. Now, though...I'm not so sure. This is so much better than Rumpelstiltskin's because it was nothing new, nothing we didn't already know, EXCEPT for the final prophecy regarding Henry. But surely that could have been delivered in a better way. 

   Potential was being taken advantage of across the board this week. Neil having a fiance should make for great drama later on, not to mention Cora's incredibly strategic mind that, when combined with her extreme "mother bear" instincts, has caused so much of the plot on the show. 

   Per my second point, the characters we took a look at this week (little Snow White and adult Snow/Mary Margaret) are far more sympathetic than Gold and Henry. Let's compare the kids and adults. Henry is probably acting a bit more like the average eleven-year-old, so perhaps he's at a disadvantage; still, his whining, rejection of people who make choices he doesn't like or understand, and know-it-all attitude makes his grandmother at his age look far deeper, more complex, and like a much stronger individual. Snow faces ethical dilemmas and makes tough choices that weigh deeply on her. She learns from her mother and takes on the enormous responsibility of attending her mother's funeral in a leadership position. That's impressive and admirable; it's something I don't know if I could do now, much less at her age. I think the differences in how I view these two characters is that, while I look for relatable protagonists with flaws, I also look for heroes-- people who inspire me to be better, who face dire consequences that I never have, but can still connect with. Snow presents that to me in a way that Henry does not. 

   When it comes to the adults, a similar principle applies. Rumpelstiltskin and grown-up Snow/Mary Margaret have both recently been humanized, but Rumpelstiltskin's flaw (his selfishness, not his cowardice) is magnified to such a great extent that I don't want to relate to him. Snow's ethical decision this episode, however, is a scary yet realistic one. Cora has been putting those she loves in danger for her entire life. Her mother and Johanna are dead, and her daughter has been repeatedly put up against grave threats. Cora will most likely try and hurt or kill more of the people she loves. Should Snow compromise her morality, which has done nothing but compromise her in the past? This is thought-provoking, brain-stumping stuff that Snow has to deal with, whereas Rumpelstiltskin just keeps repeating himself.  

My Score:

8/10. 

Thought-provoking dilemmas and upped stakes takes the cake this week. 

My Questions:

• Assuming us Captain Swan shippers (people who wants Emma and Captain Hook to fall in love) are not totally crazy and a love quadrangle between Neil, Emma, Kilian and Neil's fiance (whose name I didn't quite catch) is indeed being set up, will it blossom in the final episodes of this season, or are the writers looking ahead to Season 3 and beyond? 
• Neil's been shown to be a mostly-decent guy so far, doing everything out of love for Emma in the past and desiring to reconnect with his long-lost son immediately. He didn't try and deny to Emma that he's moved on romantically, and is putting aside his justified anger to help his jerk of a father. That said...what's his flaw? What's wrong with him? What character trait is he going to have to struggle with? 
• Will Neil call out Henry on the crappy treatment he doles out to his mothers? 

Next Week (technically tonight, but shush):

Will Snow follow through? Will Regina follow suit with Cora's commands? 

(Disclaimer: As always, I've used a lot of gifs, memes, photos, and cultural references in this review/recap. None of them are mine! If you or someone you know owns/made own of the gifs/photos/etc., comment below and let me know- I'll take it down, if that's what you wish. I don't claim ownership of any of them, I just browse Tumblr and other websites for stuff that could fit into my blog and its reviews/recaps. Also, I own none of the media I reference. "Once Upon a Time" belongs to ABC , as does "The B in Apartment 23," "Downton Abbey" belongs to the BBC, "Heroes" belongs to NBC, "Grey's Anatomy" belongs to ABC, I don't know Mila Kunis or Tom Hiddleston, etc., etc...I own nothing! This blog is for entertainment purposes only!!! Also, this show is written, acted, produced and made by people far more successful than me thus far in my life. I really do like it, and I only critique because I care! I  know far less about the world than I pretentiously seem to.)

   

Chapter 10: In Which Charming Brings Back Fur Coats

Well, here we are, folks. We've officially survived the Mayan Apocalypse, the holidays, and the fiscal cliff-- and if you're reading this blog, you've also survived an excruciatingly-long wait for new episodes of ABC's "Once Upon a Time," so pat yourselves on the back.

Tonight, your trial has ended. The sun has come out, a new day has dawned, the Dark Age is dead, Harry Potter's dumped Cho Chang, we're getting a new Star Wars movie, I'm no longer a minor, we had a white Christmas, there are ten billion flavors of Five Gum, and the dog days...well, you get the drift. 

Life is good. Now that that's been established, let's get down to the thick of things-- namely, my recap and review that you awesome peeps kindly read for some reason every week. I love you all! 

What Happened

Storybrooke:

• Hook and Cora are newly-arrived party-crashers in Storybrooke, getting off Hook's big-as-all-getup pirate ship. Cora uses a bit of magic to turn it invisible and advises Hook that he'll need to proceed carefully if he's to take on Rumpelstiltskin in a world that now has magic. (Oh, and they turn some poor dude into a fish. Bullying in Storybrooke is dangerous.)
• The next morning, Emma and Henry walk in on Snow and David. 

Emma:

Henry:

David and Snow:

• Naturally, they flee to make tacos, which is what everyone does when this happens in their life.
• Later, they bring said tacos to a party at Granny's. Regina shows up and is totally awkward and is super-relatable because it's basically how I acted at the parties I've been to in my high school career, which I can count on one hand. Grumpy is a jerk to Regina, but Emma convinces everybody to give Regina a chance. 
• Regina feels awkward and doesn't have the amazing people who seem to find me at parties and make me feel welcome, resulting in her leaving early. Emma tries to get her to stay, and the conversation takes a turn for the worse when Emma mentions that Dr. Archie Hopper told her Regina was trying to change for the better. It's clearly a clear violation of doctor-patient confidentiality, and Regina is understandably furious. She snaps at Emma when the latter denies her the chance to let Henry sleepover, calling Emma out on thinking she could be a mother after "five minutes," when Regina's been doing it for ten years. 

Me:

"You go, Regina."

• Regina apologizes (boo) and Emma accepts it. The next day, Regina goes and yells at Archie, understandably. Ruby is jogging nearby, and somehow accomplishes the remarkable feat of asking them if they have a problem (I say it's remarkable because as part of my New Year's resolution, I have taken up jogging, and I cannot say a word after two minutes of jogging, I'm gasping so hard for breath). Regina tells her to depart with a sassy comment that I cannot do justice to here. Just go watch the episode, it's marvelous. 
• Later, Cora disguises herself as Regina and goes to Archie's apartment, where she kills him! 
• The next morning, Emma and Henry are having breakfast at Granny's, because Emma can't cook anything except tacos and although Henry was tolerant for the first five weeks, it's just not going to happen again. 
• Henry the truant goes to school while Emma and Ruby investigate Archie's office and find his body. They arrest Regina, and it's basically an episode of Law and Order: Storybrooke. David is Stabler and Emma is his Olivia, reigning in his Javert-ian tendencies. 
• After Regina denies doing anything in the interrogation, Emma argues with David and Snow over whether or not Regina has changed, referencing her past as a criminal and how much she changed. Emma essentially points out that, even if Regina hasn't changed, she never would've left so much evidence pointing to her. 
• Emma believes Regina has been framed. They go and talk to Gold, convinced that he did it. He denies it and Belle has no idea that Archie's dead. Where have you been, Belle? 
• Gold gets Archie's dog Pongo and uses a dreamcatcher to help Emma do some magic, in which she accesses Pongo's memories and sees that "Regina"/Cora really did kill Archie. 

Emma:

"I totally stuck up for that----"

• At Regina's house, a fight ensues and Regina uses magic, angry when Emma tells her she'll never see Henry again. Everyone gets super-judgmental and it makes me super-sad for Regina, who poofs away . (Oh. And Regina utters the phrase "I assume you're here to apologize," which I'm expecting to see in at least three Swan Queen videos by the end of the week. AMV-ers, you have your task. Get to it.)
• At the bus stop, Emma is nervous about telling Henry that Archie is dead and Regina apparently killed him. We get a really touching scene where Emma and David and Snow all realize that none of them know how to be parents, but it's okay because really...who does? They'll figure it out. Emma then tells Henry about what happened while Regina watches on from afar, heartbroken as she sees the son she so wanted to prove herself to hear a lie that will break his heart.
• At the docks, it turns out that Cora did kill someone and disguised the body as Archie's, but she doesn't know whose it was. She actually kidnapped Archie, who is now being held on Hook's ship with the intent to torture him for information about Rumpelstiltskin's emotional weaknesses (along with those of everyone else in the town...)

Fairytale Land (Past):

• Snow and Charming capture Regina after defeating King George the Unspecified Numeral. 

How the Capture Goes Down:

Regina:

Snow and Charming:

• (By the way, Charming is wearing a very fashionable fur coat. I hope he brings that back in Storybrooke, the plaid is getting boring.)
• At a counsel meeting, it's essentially decided that they should execute Regina. Snow has a problem with killing, which seems odd considering how much killing there likely was in the war that just ended against King George, but I guess we're just ignoring that. 
• After her dad tells her to show regret in an attempt to get some slack from the royals, Regina flat out ignores him and goes all Disney villain on Snow before she can be executed. Charming's all "Oh my God, Snow, you can't just stop an execution!" but Snow ignores him and chats with Rumpelstiltskin about what's to be done with Regina. Snow truly believes that Regina's good side is still somewhere within her. 
• Rumpelstiltskin comes up with a test to see if Regina has any good in her. Long and cumbersome test short, Regina fails and tries to kill Snow when she lets her go, resulting in her banishment. 
• On the day of The Royal Wedding (the one that didn't involve somebody named Middleton), Rumpelstiltskin points out that while a spell he placed on Charming and Snow to protect them from Regina works in the Fairytale Land, it doesn't work outside of it...setting the stage for her to use the curse. 

What I Thought

   The thing that struck me the most this week wasn't the theme of change, which was deep and intriguing, but I'm sure you all got that yourselves. What I enjoyed this week was the more mature vibe the show had. For a lot of this season, I've missed some of the grittier, more intense themes and aspects of the show's first season. Remember when David was cheating on his Storybrooke-wife Abigail, but it was confusing and divisive among viewers because he was technically married to Snow White? How about when Mary Margaret was suspected of killing David's wife? Even Regina's murder of her own father was incredibly dark. The show continuously showed that fairytales could be scary and their characters could be complex and realistic, and while that hasn't been lacking this season, it hadn't been as strong. 

   The edge was back tonight, for the most part. It started with the bedroom walk-in scene, which was a nice acknowledgment of more adult relationships that didn't get too uncomfortable for younger viewers. The momentum carried on with the murder and the debate over execution and rehabilitation, though a bit was lost when Archie was revealed to be alive (just a bit-- remember, Cora said she had killed someone, and didn't even care who it was!) I think the gritty, grown-up pieces of this episode were things I had been missing, though I didn't quite realize it until tonight. 

    This is a show that tries to appeal to multiple age demographics, and is starting to remember it again. Besides this bright point, other great moments included Emma trying to understand Regina's attempt to change herself, along with the conversation between David, Emma and Snow about parenthood. Two things bothered me this week: the fact that Archie isn't really dead (I was hoping the stakes would be raised a bit by showing us that main characters can die and actually stay dead, but so far the show keeps offering ways out: Abigail and Archie both turned out not to have actually been murdered, while Prince Charming looks like he's not gone for good, based on the ending of the winter finale) and the dialogue in the Fairytale Land. It's very stiff and stilted at times, like the writers can't decide whether they're going for classic fantasy tongues or something more...modernized, like the Percy Jackson series, where mythological creatures have updated themselves to the modern world. The soldier who gave the report to Regina in the opening scene was particularly distracting. 

My Score:

6/10.

The episode dragged a little bit in the middle, but had a lot of good character moments and a fantastic return to some of its more adult themes. 

My Questions:

• Who was the person that Cora actually killed: Random Citizen #17, or somebody we care about more? 
• Now that Regina's an outlaw, will she be forced to try and flee Storybrooke (or live in the woods and frolic with a resurrected Graham?)
• Will everyone believe that Regina killed Archie? I feel like Gold might suspect something's up...

Next Week:

Grumpy wants to return to the Fairytale Land, and Rumpelstiltskin plays a deadly game of hopscotch.

(Disclaimer: As always, I've used a lot of gifs, cultural references, memes, and photos. If you or someone you know owns/made one of the gifs/photos/etc., comment below and let me know- I'll take it down, if that's what you wish. I don't claim ownership of any of them, I just browse Tumblr and other sites for ones that fit my blog. Also, I own none of the media I reference. "Once Upon a Time" belongs to ABC, Percy Jackson belongs to Rick Riordan,"The Big Bang Theory" belongs to CBS, "GLEE" belongs to Fox, etc., etc...I own nothing. Entertainment purposes only!)

Chapter 9: In Which Hook is a Wannabe-Ninja

This is it, guys and girls, ladies and gentlement, people from across the globe. Tonight was the grand (Winter) finale of ABC's "Once Upon a Time," 2x09: "Queen of Hearts." It was a wrap-up to the first half of the season's storylines, so we were expecting a lot from it. Did it deliver? Let's find out!

 

What Happened:

 

The Fairytale Land (the Past)

• Hook is a total master of disguise. Using his Cloak of Hiddenness, he manages to break into Belle's cell, where Regina is keeping her. He asks Belle is she knows how to Rumpelstiltskin, but soon learns she's about as helpful as a Blue-Ray disc in the Nineties.
• Regina shows up looking like a stylish Fifties fashion designer (I mean, seriously, THAT HAIR) and wants to know why Hook is messing with her prisoner. When she learns of his desire to kill Rumpelstiltskin, she decides to offer him a deal:  Kill her mother, Cora (so that she doesn't get taken to Storybrooke when Regina casts the curse) and Regina will help her kill Rumpelstiltskin.

Hook:

"Meh, Les Miserables doesn't come out for a month, I got time to kill...I'm in."

 

Regina:



 

• So then Hook goes to Wonderland, where apparently Cora has taken up residence as the Queen of Hearts. We don't really find out why, but she was disguising her face and voice. Whatevs.
• Hook tries to steal Cora's heart using a magic something-or-other given to him by Regina. Unfortunately, it doesn't work. Cora stops him and steals Hook's heart. When she learns what he was doing, she has him do something for her, instead.
• Hook lugs Cora back to the main Fairytale Land, where he plops her in a coffin and pretends she's dead. Regina buys it, and actually seems quite saddened: apparently she only wanted Cora dead because she still loved her, despite everything Cora had done to her. She didn't want Cora to hold her back, because- as Cora once told Regina- "love is weakness."
• Later, we discover how Mulan, Aurora, Philip, Cora, and Hook were protected from the curse: Cora cast a protective spell over herself and Hook, along with a large portion of the Fairytale Land that they were standing in. Everyone there was protected from the curse. It looked a lot like the defensive charms from the Battle of Hogwarts, but I digress.

 

The Fairytale Land AND Storybrooke (present) - (these two are far too tied together this week to separate...)

• Within Gold's shop, David is snoozing and Henry is reading to him. Regina thinks it's sweet, even though we all know she's vomiting on the inside.
• Gold and Regina discuss the fact that while Emma and Snow MIGHT be the ones to make it out of the portal, it's far more likely Cora will win. In the name of practicality, the two schemers decide to pull a heist!



Is it too soon to make a joke regarding who could have helped them? Technically he's been dead twenty-eight years, sooooooo...?

• Back in the Fairytale Land, the Disney Princess Brigade gets to Rumpelstiltskin's cell. Unfortunately for them, they don't find the ink-- only a piece of paper with Emma's name written on it over, and over, and over again...it's, like, TOTALLY "Criminal Minds: European Folklore."
• Suddenly Aurora traps them in their cell! Has she betrayed them all? Is she jealous that Mulan got a sundial patent and didn't split the reward with her? No, nothing nearly so melodramatic, it's just Cora and Hook using her disembodied heart to possess her.
• Cora and Hook snatch the compass back. Hook takes a moment to let Emma know, in no uncertain terms, that they are never, ever, EVER getting back together. She could care less. The shippers should care less, but we do. We DO care. Many a "Captain Swan" fan will spend the month of December aching for the Romance of the Year to pick up again.



Yes, Leah Michelle...Yes, we have.

• Regina and Gold cackle and tiptoe up to the Magic Well in the Storybrooke Woods (remember the one from last year's finale? The one that Gold poured the True Love Potion into in order to bring magic back to Storybrooke?) Together, they dump the magic they stole from the fairy-dust mines into the well via a lightning-bolt, booger-colored so that we know it's bad.
• Henry and Ruby show up, horrified at what Regina has done. Regina and Gold assure them that it's a necessary and realistic defense; Cora will most likely defeat Emma and Snow, thus allowing herself to enter Storybrooke and hurt Henry. The kid is less than understanding.
• In the Fairytale Land, Mulan further proves her intelligence by locating the ink bottle. It's empty, unfortunately. Snow then realizes that the ink is within the paper, written a thousand times as Emma's name. She blows the words off the scroll of Creeper Paper and into the bars, thus releasing them.
• The Disney Princess Brigade arrives to the lake where Hook and Cora were about to jump into a portal to Storybrooke. They have a REALLY, uber-intense battle with lots of "Girl, please" and "This place about to" moments, it's really quite exciting. (Oh, and Hook and Emma have more eyesex. LOTS more. That's probably the real reason Cora is angry, because she thinks Emma is stealin' "her man.")
• Eventually, Mulan gets Aurora's heart back and goes off to free her. Cora tries to grab Emma's heart, but it won't work- a big blast of energy comes out of Emma's heart and knocks Cora down.



Emma has the Power of Heart!

• Emma and Snow make it back to Storybrooke safely, thanks to Regina deciding to trust Henry that Good would win and Emma and Snow would be the ones to come through the portal, resulting in a vastly-painful spell in which Regina sucked up the evil booger-colored lightning bolt so that Snow and Emma survived the trip home.
• Henry is totally ungrateful, but luckily Emma has better manners. Snow kisses David and wakes him up, Henry FINALLY thanks Regina before going off to get dinner with Emma, and Regina is very sad because Gold rubs the whole "There goes your son, off to look up to another woman as his mother figure" thing in her face. In the Fairytale Land, Mulan and Aurora go off to look for the way to restore Philip.
• Off in the distance, Hook and Cora sail up to Storybrooke harbor in a freaking PIRATE SHIP; apparently they had a magic bean left over from the Giant's house that allowed them to navigate the portal and arrive in Storybrooke. They roll up, all ready to conquer, like, you just KNOW they're jamming to Ke$ha and getting ready to take over Storybrooke. And the cool thing is...I almost found myself rooting for 'em.

 

What I Thought:

 

   I loved the ending. I freaking LOVED the ending. I just cannot...I mean, that's so cool. That is SOOOOOO cool, and you all know it. But, ah... *ahem* I suppose I should try and reclaim a little bit of professionalism for the "review" portion of this post.

    The best part of this episode was the ending. That's not to say the rest was bad, because it wasn't. It was decent stuff. Nothing too surprising, simply because all signs had been pointing to this, but it was still enjoyable. Snow and Emma got home, Cora and Hook were defeated for now, Regina managed to get a little bit farther in her relationship to Henry...not too surprising.

   The ending, on the other hand, blew me out of the water, almost literally. This is something that has clearly been being built towards all season, and it had to happen in the way that it did. Emma and Snow have been battling Cora and Hook all season long, but we always kind of knew they'd win. Because, as Henry kept insisting, "Good always wins." That might not be the case for much longer. Cora, who clearly is a more powerful mage than Regina and possibly Gold, has arrived in Storybrooke. The very thing Regina and Gold were afraid of is occurring before our very eyes, right after multiple episodes of people telling us how bad this would be if it came to pass. With Cora in power, arriving in Storybrooke, I'm really looking forward to a lot of Fairytale Land conventions being challenged. Love might not conquer all, because Cora's launching an attack that she can, and likely will, win.

    I think we're looking ahead to a Storybrooke at war. In a war, people tend to change and grow up, and now always for the better. Henry might have to adjust his naivete a bit over the second half of the season, starting in January. Maybe things will be less black and white, now that we're back in our world. Surely with Neal on his way and Emma's possible romantic feelings for Hook, that's something that's got potential romantically as well as morally. Regina clearly wants to remain a presence in Henry's life, which may not happen with Emma back in the picture. So what does she do-- fight Emma to be in Henry's life again? Will Emma give in, or try to keep Henry for herself? I think we're going to be seeing a lot of grey in the second half of this season, and Good might not always win in every decision that will be made...

 

My Score: 7/10. A somewhat predictable plot was redeemed by an exciting lead into the rest of the season.

 

My Predictions for The Show's Return:

-Emma will try to leave Storybrooke to be with Neal.

-Hook will develop feelings for Emma, but she won't visibly reciprocate (if she does eventually admit to them, it won't be until the Season Finale).

-Henry will learn magic from Regina.

-Belle will break things off with Gold, so that Hook can't use her against him. It'll work about as well as it did for Spider-Man and Mary Jane.

-We won't hear from August, Mulan, or Aurora for awhile...

-...but we'll get some new "modernizations" of fairy tale characters who have been in Storybrooke this whole time, just in the background (I know there were rumors of Ariel, Aladdin, and Jafar for this season, along with Wizards of Oz characters. Of course, the rumors started this past summer, so they might not be accurate, but we can only hope!)

 

 

(Disclaimer: As always, I've used a lot of gifs, cultural references, memes, and photos. If you or someone you know owns/made one of the gifs/photos/etc., comment below and let me know- I'll take it down, if that's what you wish. I don't claim ownership of any of them, I just browse Tumblr and other sites for ones that fit my blog. Also, I own none of the media I reference. "Once Upon a Time" belongs to ABC, Ke$ha songs belong to Ke$ha, "Glee" belongs to Fox, God knows who "Captain Planet" belongs to, etc., etc...I own nothing.)







Chapter 8: In Which Mulan Ditches These Losers Because She's Really Much Smarter Than Them

Hola, my children! It's been a while, what with the two-week hiatus. Apparently that's just a practice for what may be a longer one, given that there's a Winter Finale coming up next week (but the show will reemerge sometime in January.) A lot happened this week, and now that we know there's a mid-season finale coming up next week, it makes a lot more sense...so let's get cracking! This is my recap/review of ABC's "Once Upon a Time," Episode 2x08: "Into the Deep."

*A note: several of this week's events crisscrossed between Storybrooke and The Fairytale Land. I'll be covering them from each side's perspective, in no particular order. 

What Happened:

The Fairytale Land

• We open with Hook finally getting down from that beanstalk. Cora's waiting for him at the bottom, and she's none too happy that Hook ditched her for the Disney Princess Brigade. He tries to get back on her good side, but she'll have none of it: she's off to get the compass back, and will most definitely NOT be taking Hook with her to Storybrooke.
• Cora, who's been runnin' 'round, leaving scars, collecting herself a jar of hearts, goes to said cabinet of cardio organs and uses them to raise up a horde of angry zombies. Take notes, this'll come back to bite the DPB in the butt later. 
• Aurora informs Emma, Snow, and Mulan of her dream, and the Netherworld room she found herself within. Emma decides they can use this to communicate with Henry. 

Basically the level of familiarity they have with their chosen method of communication.

• That night, Aurora meets Henry in the Red Room, within the Netherworld that only people who have been under (and awakened from!) a Sleeping Curse can go to. She informs him that his mother and grandmother are alright, but need Rumpel's help to try and defeat Cora.
• The DPB keeps trekking along the next day, following the compass to the portal to Storybrooke, but Mulan notices that Aurora has a burn- apparently the Red Room can actually hurt people within it, if they let the flames touch them.She's reluctant to let her friend Aurora go back there, given that she swore to her crush/BFF/comrade/whatevs Philip that Aurora would be safe. Aurora, however, basically tells Mulan she feels useless and needs to do something to contribute. 

"Mulan...you, Snow and Emma have done, like, the ENTIRE project. I need to at least do a little bit so that I don't feel totally guilty when we all get an A+..."

• The next time Aurora goes to sleep, she sees Henry. But he's, like, TOTALLY unhelpful, because he times his directions whenever the fire bursts up. So whatever he's trying to say, Aurora doesn't hear. Unfortunately, Mulan chooses this exact moment to wake Aurora up because...
• The camp is under attack by zombies!!!!

• Yep, Cora's zombies are back with a vengeance. Snow and Emma manage to fight most of them off, but because Snow was too busy caught in her Katniss roleplaying to pay attention, Mulan managed to sneak Aurora out of camp.
• Unfortunately, Mulan got caught up fighting more zombies, so Aurora was kidnapped. She's kind of the group's Daphne...
• Cora goes and torments Aurora in her cell, way across the Fairytale Land. Aurora is actually surprisingly snarky back at Cora. Cora throws a curve ball at Aurora when she tells her that Philips Dementor-sucked-- I mean, "wraith"-sucked soul is actually just in another dimension, so she could hypothetically get it back. Luckily, Aurora calls her out her crap.

Cora gets told. 

• Back across the forest, Mulan is arguing with Emma and Snow. They've been given what amounts to a magical ransom note from Cora: give her the compass by sundown if they want to get Aurora back. Snow and Emma decide that, since Snow was once under a Sleeping Curse, she could go to the Red Room in the Netherworld, too. Mulan doesn't like the idea of playing for time...but she agrees. For now.
• In the Netherworld, Snow finds Charming, who has apparently been put under a Sleeping Curse willingly, all in order to find and communicate with Snow. He informs Snow that to stun and restrain Cora, they will need a special bottle of ink, which lies in Rumpelstiltskin's cell back in Snow and Charming's old castle. The two try to kiss to wake David up from the spell, but it doesn't work, because they're not in their physical bodies.
• Snow emerges from her sleep, horrified to learn her husband will be in a deep sleep until she gets back home. Emma's got worse news: Mulan has run off with the compass, determined to give it back to Cora in order to save Aurora.

Mulan's Grand Plan

"Um yeah I'm off to rescue Aurora and we're just gonna go and hang out away from all of your drama, and make lots of sundials and patent them, and with the money we make, we're gonna BUY the portal back to Storybrooke."

•  Luckily for the group, Aurora has been freed by Captain Hook, who told Aurora he was freeing her to spite Cora. 
• Aurora and the group are reunited before Mulan can give Cora the compass, but little does the Disney Princess Brigade know that Hook carved out Aurora's heart and gave it to Cora. Now, Cora is spying on the DPB, controlling Aurora even as the group makes their way to get the MacGuffin-colored Ink...

Storybrooke

• Henry wakes up from his sleep and informs Regina and David that he saw Aurora; the two are okay, but they need to know how to defeat Regina's mother, Cora.
• Regina goes to Granny's Diner, where she interrupts THE most uncomfortable-looking date in the history of uncomfortable-looking dates. It doesn't help that everyone in the diner clearly hates Rumpelstiltskin. Lord, this must be uncomfortable for Belle. 

I know I feel awkward when my (nonexistent) date starts telling me how magical condiments are.

• Regina gets Rumpelstiltskin to come help with the Henry situation. In the convincing conversation, there's some interesting dialogue that seems to indicate that Rumpel was the one who taught Cora her magic, and that they had a violent falling-out. Rumpel is spurred to action by Regina pointing out that if Cora does get to Storybrooke, she could hurt Belle. 
• Regina and Rumpel, watched by David, send Henry back into the Netherworld, explaining that the fiery room is accessible only to those who have awakened from a Sleeping Curse. Meanwhile, Henry awakens there and talks to Aurora, trying to let her know Rumpel's idea for getting rid of Cora: she can be stunned in a similar way that Rumpelstiltskin was by Snow and David, which allowed him to be imprisoned long, long ago. It will take the bottle of ink that the two used (remember the Cinderella episode way back when? They put it in a quill to trap Rumpelstiltskin...). The inkbottle is in Rumpel's old jail cell. Yeah, it'll be a lot of work. But nothing good ever came with a little bit of work. I think. So they tell me. 
• Unfortunately, the flames are too high and Henry cannot make himself heard to Aurora. She gets sucked out of the Netherworld by Mulan awakening her. Henry, in turn, wakes up to find himself severely burnt. ("Ouch, Netherworld! That hurt! Netherworld burned me!")

• Rumpelstiltskin heals him, then David demands to be put under a Sleeping Curse, since he and Regina are totally united by their desire to keep Henry safe.  Regina makes up the curse, and she and Henry get a really nice bonding moment over their mutual love of chemistry. 
• David undergoes the curse and arrives in the Netherworld. However, since it's his first time under such a curse, he has to make his way through a dark dimension of mirrors before he's able to find the fiery room.
• He does so in all of two minutes, and then finds Snow. Within the fiery room, he informs her of what she needs to do. They try to kiss in order to wake him up, but it doesn't work: a tearful Snow realizes that David will be asleep until she can get back to him. 
• A sad Henry looks over his beloved grandfather while Regina and Rumpelstiltskin share a knowing glance. (Because they know they're gonna have to lug David over to the extremely short-staffed hospital for the duration of the spell...and neither one of them is feeling particularly energetic.)

What I Thought:

   This episode made a lot more sense once I found out that next week was the Winter Finale. I kept feeling that there was a lot of back-and-forth, and wondering what it was all about. Now it's clear: we're being set up for next week's episode. That was the ultimate purpose of this episode. 

    Despite the fact that it was a set-up episode, the writers still put in some really nice character moments. Aurora and Mulan both got some much needed development; after all, they really hadn't done all that much since the season premiere. We now see how important promises are to Mulan, which is quite beautiful , if you think about it: whether she loved Philip romantically, or as a best friend (at this point, I think either is possible), she still misses him. The only bit of him that she still has is the promise she made to him- the promise to keep Aurora safe. It made sense that she was willing to die for Aurora, because keeping her promise to Philip is her most important goal at the moment.

    Aurora, too, had some interesting and surprising developments. I was glad to see that she wasn't all whine-- the girl's got some snark to her. You could tell how much she wanted to ask Cora about the potential way to get Philip back, but she resisted the urge and kicked Cora. You go, Aurora! 

Oh, Aurora. Now we know what your role in the group is: Witty Dialogue Specialist.

    Now, let's talk about Regina and Hook briefly, my two favorites of the season (and the whole show, let's be honest). I'm so, so glad the writers have kept their storylines ongoing this season. Regina is still trying to reconnect with Henry, and it looks like it's really paying off. All of her resistance, her self-control, her abstinence from using magic...it's all paying off. Henry is finally able to trust her a bit. I cannot express enough how much I adored the conversation between those two. Henry was tentative, and rightfully so, but...it's really a sign of how much Regina is trying to change, that she didn't push the conversation to mean more than it did. A year ago, she would've forced him to come home. Now, she's realized that the ball is in Henry's court and it's going to stay there. When he is ready to trust her again and let her back into his life for good, he'll do it. (Unfortunately, if the preview for next week is any indication, that might not be for awhile...) 

    Hook's connection to Emma also kept going. We know he's betrayed Cora for Emma, and now he's betraying the Disney Princess Brigade for Cora. It's not unreasonable to expect that he may switch sides again, and that's what I love about him. Any wildcard character is a good deal of fun. We know that Hook wants revenge, and you might think that it's merely a matter of whoever can help him get to Rumpelstiltskin faster. I don't think that's the case, though. I think he's feeling emotions for Emma that he hasn't felt for anyone since Mila, and that scares him. It'll be interesting to see if he will come to Emma's side again, and if so, what his motivations for doing so will be: revenge, or love? 

My Score:

8/10

I wasn't in love with this episode at first, but the fact that it's a set-up episode combined with some fun continuing character arcs made for an enjoyable installment.

My Questions:

• Lord, there are a lot. Let's see...Is Neil gonna show up next episode? I've got a feeling he'll pop up in the last five minutes, just to make things more complicated in January.
• Will anyone get back to Storybrooke next episode, or is this the status quo for the rest of the Season? 
• How many episodes are there gonna be, anyway? I know initially the word on the electronic street was that there'd be twenty-two again, which would mean we're barely a third through the second season...but now it looks unclear, if they're already giving us a mid-season finale. They never said "mid-season," though, just "winter," so I suppose that's the question...
• Rumpelstiltskin mentioned mermaids. This summer, there was word Ariel might show up this season. Is this a hint?

(Disclaimer: As always, I've used a lot of gifs, cultural references, memes, and photos. If you or someone you know owns/made one of the gifs/photos/etc., comment below and let me know- I'll take it down, if that's what you wish. I don't claim ownership of any of them, I just browse Tumblr and other sites for ones that fit my blog. Also, I own none of the media I reference. "Once Upon a Time" belongs to ABC, "The Walking Dead" belongs to AMC, "Glee" belongs to Fox, "Downton Abbey" is the BBC's, etc., etc...I own nothing.)

Chapter Six: In Which August Feels Guilty or Something.

Well, it's November. The Holly Jolly season is upon us. Luckily, even in these chaotic holiday times, we still have ABC's "Once Upon a Time" to fall back on for an hour when everything seems too hectic.  So now you can squeeze an extra fifteen minutes out of your day to avoid doing something you desperately need to do and read my review of Episode 2x06, "Tallahassee."

What Happened:

 

The Fairytale Land

• Emma and the rest of the Disney Princess Brigade, along with the forcibly-inducted Hook, arrive at the beanstalk. Hook explains that he has magic bracelets which will allow him and one other to climb up to the Treehouse of Doom.
• After some arguing and weak reasoning on the DPB's part, Emma decides to go with Hook. I was QUITE excited at the thought of these two spending precious bonding time together.

 

• Hook and Emma pass the halfway point on the beanstalk, and he's bored, so he asks Emma if she's got any good awful-ex stories. She calms him down firmly, insisting she has never been in love. He knows this is ridiculous, because Regina texted him these pictures:

 

• The three founding members of the DPB chill at the bottom of the beanstalk. Turns out Emma instructed Mulan to chop down the beanstalk if she's not back in ten hours. When she finds out the depressed princess is having bad dreams and doesn't sleep as a result, Snow gives Aurora terrible advice.

 

"Having nightmares? Best way to get rid of those is to go to sleep again!"

 

and Mulan's all

 

while she just casually invents the sundial.

• Emma and Hook arrive at the top of the beanstalk. Emma finds out about Hook and Mila(Rumpelstiltskin's wife), and then reflects that perhaps she was in love..."once."
• Aurora wakes up, stressed out, and tells Snow she had a dream: "I was in a red room...with burning curtains. There were no doors or windows, and I was sitting in a corner...and HE was looking at me..."
• Emma and Hook then use a bag of magic powder (courtesy of the extremely-practical Mulan) to knock out the giant at the top of the beanstalk.(although Hook winds up under a pile of rocks which he quickly escapes) They then explore, looking for the compass.
• The pair finds the corpse of Jack the Giant-Slayer, who apparently fought the giants in several wars. Hook plays history buff and Emma is all "That's boring" before she spots a trapwire and grabs Hook to pull him out of the way.

  "And you assume I care about the giant wars...why?"

• They end up in a hug. Hook has the exact same action the audience has ("OMG Emma and Hook are TOTALLY meant to be together YOLO") before Emma is all denying ("OMG Hook, I was just saving your life GOD can't two people just have a near-death experience without romantic tension I mean REALLY")
• The giant wakes up and Hook gets buried by a pile of rocks...again.
• Emma manages to trap the poor giant and takes the compass. Because she spared his life, he allows her to leave, but not before she convinces him to keep Hook imprisoned for ten hours.
• Hook is noticeably and understandably distressed that Emma is doing this to him. She explains that she can't take the chance that Hook will turn on them, and needs the ten hours as a head start (and Hook looks so hurt and rejected and he's all "I helped you find the compass, we had a good thing going!!!" with sad watery puppy eyes :( )
• Meanwhile, there is TENSION amongst the Disney Princess Brigade. Mulan wants to start chopping down the beanstalk, and Snow is naturally upset. But luckily Emma arrives, leaping down from the beanstalk epically but landing not-so-epically. (Somebody needs to make a gif of her amazing jump/fall/trip thing...teehee.)
• The DPB, now testosterone-free once more, heads off to see where the compass leads them.

 

Our World (But Not Storybrooke...)

• Twelve years ago (to long-time fans of the show, this number will be significant- we know Henry was born ten years ago, in a prison...) Emma is working giant Eighties glasses even though it was only 2000. C'mon, Emma, it's the Twenty-First Century, you survived Y2K, you can play with fashion a bit now.
• Emma carjacks her famed yellow beetle (the car she's been driving since the show began), but it's already stolen by another thief named Neil.
• More than a year later, Emma and Neil are the Bonnie and Clyde of the Twenty-First Century, robbing convenience stores and loving every second of it. The two are very much in love, but Neil proposes that they settle down somewhere, and Emma randomly picks Tallahassee on a map.
• Unfortunately, an old robbery of Neil's comes back to haunt him, putting him back on the law's radar. Emma proposes they make new identities for themselves by selling stolen watches.
• After getting the watches from a locker in a train station, Emma and Neil split up, agreeing to meet the next day after selling the watches. Neil is then chased down by none other than...
• AUGUST! He hasn't been around much this season, so you newbies will be confused, but for everyone else, he's Pinocchio grown up, and he's the only other person who escaped the curse besides Emma.
• August is then a manipulative jerk:

"Um, yeah, you gotta stay away from Emma. She's kinda like my surrogate sister who I ditched and just now am feeling slightly guilty for and you need to go and dump her so that she can go and save the world in ten years."

• 
To convince Neil he's telling the truth, August shows him something in a box that, eleven years later, will contain a typewriter. Whatever's in the box now, though, is enough to make Neil instantly believe stories of magic and listen to August's explanation of the curse that Emma was prophesied to save Storybrooke at age twenty-eight.

• Emma is arrested at her meeting spot: August convinced Neil to call in a tip on Emma before fleeing to Canada. Leave it to Pinocchio to encourage using lies to solve problems...
• Two months later, Emma is in prison, serving out an eleven-month term. Henry has just been born, and she receives the key to her yellow car from an anonymous sender...
• ...which turns out to be Neil. Neil and August are in Vancouver, where Neil expresses his undying love for Emma, along with his guilt over Emma's incarceration for a crime he committed. August assures him that her prison term will help her clean up her act, and promises to send Neil a post-card when Emma has completed her destiny. (Remember at the start of the season, we saw a man in a business suiting getting a Storybrooke post-card?)

 

 



"Ooooooooooh...I get it."

 



Storybrooke (now)

• Henry wakes up. David rushes in, thinking, "Oh, God, it better not be bed bugs, Sydney Glass told me all about those."
• Turns out Henry just had the exact same dream as Aurora, Red Room, Burning Curtains, Creepy Stare and all.

 

 

What I Thought:

 

     There are certain differences between the Fairytale Land (and by extension, Storybrooke) and the world that us viewers inhabit and call "real." Some are blatant (I don't know about you, but I don't know anyone who can stick their hand in somebody else's chest cavity and magically extract their heart while keeping them alive) while others are subtle. Whether or not you think the difference that this episode focuses on to be great or small is a matter of opinion.

      One of my friends and fellow OUAT-fanatic told me that Lana Parilla- the actress who plays Regina- said in an interview that the inhabitants of the Fairytale Land only have one true love. Now, granted, she's not one of the show's writers, but given her big role, her opinion on the matter still has a lot of weight.

      By contrast, on our Earth, people have many loves. They can start as early as elementary school with playground blushes and handholding, which in turn grows into the drama and hormone-filled high school experience that every teenager across the world knows to well. The romance continues to grow throughout the rest of our lives, but the one constant is that love has many forms and even more incarnations. People have unrequited affections, they have mutual crushes that go unacted on for one reason or another; if they're lucky (or not- again, depends on your view) they enter into a relationship, which more often than not eventually ends to give way to a new one. Half of all marriages end in divorce (which means half don't ;) ). The point is, love in our world is far more complicated than in the Fairytale Land, where Lana Parilla's words have thus far stood true: every character has only had one love story involving one other person.

      This episode intrigued me because Emma- the child of two worlds, born in one but raised in another- is quite possibly the perfect person to break this pattern. She had difficulty admitting it, but we the audience could clearly tell Emma was in love with Neil (and he with her.) The pain she felt after he left her (and the guilt he felt for doing it) proved to us that they cared about each other immensely. At the same time, Emma appeared to be not entirely unreceptive to Hook's flirting, and looked rather distressed when she thought he had been crushed by a pile of rocks (how he wasn't is beyond me.) Regardless of my personal desire that Emma and Hook get together, there were sparks on both sides.

     Emma might just fall in love again. She showed signs of it with Graham, but that got cut short. Emma might fall in love with a man who himself is a rulebreaker in more than one way: Hook is a pirate who has already lost his "one true love," but seems very interested in Emma. With the potential of Neil returning, a love triangle may be in bloom. And that is a very un-"Fairytale Land" concept that I am excited to see Emma bring about.

 

My Score:

 

9/10

An intriguing concept coupled with an exciting adventure and a romantic flashback makes Emma's backstory incredibly interesting, giving us an all-around fantastic episode. 

 

My Questions:

-How mad is Hook at Emma???

-What is this freaky Red Room thing? Could there be a villain besides Cora?

-Will Mulan put a patent on her sundial?

 

 

Next Week:

Red Riding Hood has to deal with the consequences of eating her boyfriend, both social and digestive!

 

 (As always, I use a lot of gifs and pictures. Most of them I get from Tumblr or other various websites. If they are yours or belong to someone you know, and you don't think I should be/have the right to be using them, let me know in the comments and I will take them down. I own nothing!)

Chapter 5: In Which Regina Dresses Like a Jedi Padawan.

Tonight we were treated to a special Halloween episode of ABC's "Once Upon a Time:" 2x05, "The Doctor." While it's certainly no "Scream" or "Nightmare on Elm Street," this episode had its share of creepy, as well as good ol' fashioned Storybrooke...science? Read on for my "muahaha"-filled recap and review!

What Happened:

Fairytale Land (Past)

• Regina begins her Sith Lord training with Rumpelstiltskin in the same outfit Hayden Christensen wore in "Revenge of the Sith," only with a lighter color-scheme. I guess she was a fangirl. 

Overlarge leather vests and billowy sleeves are what's hot this fall.

• Anyway, enough fashion talk. Rumpelstiltskin tells Regina to freeze a unicorn, which she does. He then insists she take its heart, which she is uncomfortable with, so Rumpel does it for her before telling her to kill it by squeezing the heart. Regina cannot bring herself to do it, leading Rumpel to ask her what is holding her back from killing.
• Later, Regina tells Rumpelstiltskin that she wants to learn magic so that she can bring back Daniel, her dead boyfriend that her mom killed via Heart-Grabbing. Suddenly Jefferson, aka The Mad Hatter, shows up, and the audience is like,

• This is Jefferson in his fabulous days before his band tanked, when he wore all the eye shadow he wanted and all his fangirls wore top hats to see him play the drums. 
• FabJeff gives Rumpelstiltskin a glass ball, which is from another world or something. Rumpelstiltskin has this amazing moment where Jefferson is all, "You want the magic ball or not?" and Rumpy's all, "Mmmmmmokay" and snatches it. SOLID GOLD. (see what I did there? ;) )
• FabJeff reminds Regina that she is in fact married to a king which does in fact make her a queen and can therefore make queenly deals of queenly power. The deal essentially boils down to "You let me drive a carriage w/o a license and jailbreak my iPod, I get you a freaky witch-doctor thang to bring back your Stable-Man." 
• Later FabJeff introduces Regina to Doctor Whale's Fairytale-Land Counterpart, Victor, who's rocking the buttons and he doesn't care because he's almost as fabulous as Jefferson and that's saying something, I mean really, the two of them could do commercials together. 
• Dr. Vic tells Regina that he needs a heart to bring back Daniel, and just in the middle of the dramatic scene an ad for Wreckit Ralph comes on screen. I was not pleased.

"What the heck Pixar I mean normally I love you but Regina is making a character-shaping ethical decision here, come back when Henry's onscreen or something!"

• Regina takes Dr. Victor and FabJeff to her old house and shows them her mom Cora's secret vault of hearts. Dr. Vic picks one and they go on their merry way to do the experiment to bring back Daniel, whom Regina has kept in peak (albeit dead) condition via a spell. Unfortunately the experiment doesn't work 
• Now that she has nothing to lose, Regina goes to Rumpelstiltskin, kills some poor chick he was teaching, and tells him she's ready to learn all magic, including the dark kinds. Little did she know that Rumpelstiltskin paid Dr. Victor off to make the experiment a dud, ensuring his apprentice was in the right mental state to be EEEEEEEEEVIL. Dr. Victor heads back to his own world where technicolor hasn't been invented yet, but resurrections have...that's right, folks, Dr. Victor/Dr. Whale is a modernized Dr. Frankenstein, and he manages to bring back his dead brother using the heart he took from Cora's vault (of course we all know how THAT turned out.)

Storybrooke

• Sheriff David clocks Dr. Whale because he and Snow White slept together that one time when they were all cursed and she was technically single so Whale really wasn't doing anything wrong...Our Hero, everybody. 
• David informs Whale about his quest to find a portal to the Fairytale Land. Whale then bursts in on a psych session, in which a weepy Regina was telling Archie/Jiminy Cricket about how she's quitting magic cold-turkey in order to win back Henry. Whale demands that Regina send him back to be with his brother, to which Regina replies she only brought the living to Storybrooke. 
• As soon as Whale shuts the door and leaves, Archie asks her if that's true- that all the dead Fairytale citizens stayed in their homeland. Regina then gets a priceless moment where she looks right at Archie and tells him she brought who SHE wanted (her dead dad and Daniel.) It was her curse, after all. 

• David brings Henry to the stable to meet his horse, then makes up this half-baked story about how shoveling a horse's excrement around bonds horse and rider. The audience doesn't care, but the plot tells us, "This is important later, just stick around, okay???"
• Regina discovers Daniel's grave is empty, so she goes to her secret prison underneath the hospital, where she finds Dr. Whale, weak and short one arm. He informs her Daniel has indeed been resurrected, but is now a monster. 
• Regina tells David what happened, and the two of them somehow figure out where Daniel's going: the stables. 
• In the stables, Henry is being lazy, big surprise, and is working on his horse's hairstyle instead of cleaning up like David told him. Suddenly Daniel shows up, all zombie-esque, and advances towards Henry.
• Luckily Regina and David save Henry. Regina manages to awaken Daniel's humanity, but he is in so much pain that he begs her to kill him. Regina turns him to dust, finally deciding to let go of her lost love. 
• While Regina goes to see Archie again, the injured Whale goes to see Rumpelstiltskin, who (after making Whale admit that science cannot do what magic can) heals his arm. 

Fairytale Land (Present)

• The Disney Princess Brigade (Aurora, Mulan, Emma and Snow) arrive at The Sanctuary town, only to find out the town has been massacred by Cora, again with that gross Indiana Jones 2-Heart-Grabby-Thing. The only survivor is Kilian, who has apparently been disguising himself as the town blacksmith to spy for Cora (his ex-girlfriend that doesn't quite get they're through.) 
• The next five minutes of the show are as follows:

Kilian:

"They'll NEVER suspect who I REALLY am!"

Emma:

• The DPB learn he is Captain Hook/Kilian Jones, a spy for Cora. They wanna leave him to get eaten by ogres, but he tells them he can help find The MacGuffin of Season 2, a magic compass to lead them back to Storybrooke. (What is a MacGuffin, you might ask? Think...the One Ring, The Sorcerer's Stone, etc. Something that is important to the characters simply because it will get them where the plot needs them to go.)
• The group comes across a beanstalk, the top of which is home to a giant who, according to Kilian, has the compass.

What I Thought:

          Let's start with what I liked: the Regina backstory. It was really awesome to see Regina and Rumpelstiltskin back in their glory days, learning and teaching respectively. (Can I just say that Rumpel's actor, Robert Carlyle, knocked it out of the PARK tonight? Like, seriously, he was fantastic, even with his small role in this episode.) Regina had an intriguing storyline about doing something bad with good intentions; she knew her mother had taken those hearts from living people, and that she was using dark, evil magic, the likes of which her mother used to control and her teacher used to kill. Regina clearly believed this was all permissible if it meant she could resurrect someone who she loved. It's an interesting and debate-causing topic, and I liked seeing that play out on screen. Ultimately the show seemed to say that since Regina was corrupted in the end, it's not possible to use dark methods for something good, but it's by no means definitive, given that Regina might very well NOT have become morally comfortable with killing if the experiment had worked and restored Daniel to her. 

Moral conundrums are tricky...

          The other character I loved in this episode was Jefferson. The earliest in his life we had seen him was right around the time he lost his daughter, when his days making deals with Regina were long gone. I can't tell you how much I enjoyed seeing him in his hey-day, making one-liners, being a rambunctious and fun-loving wildchild. That makes sense, given this is probably before he had a daughter, and having children is supposed to make most people more mature, or so I hear. 

          Now I suppose we have to talk about what I didn't appreciate, and that was Regina in Storybrooke. I know I've said before on this blog that I really like her being on the side of the angels now, but I still wanted her to retain her bad attitude and tough streak. Regina didn't feel that way tonight. I know the episode was about her finally giving up her first love, but that really didn't serve as an excuse to me to see her constantly on the verge of tears, talking like she was her young self again, unable to do what she had to do until the last minute. Remember when Regina killed her father, someone she loved, to get something she cared about (revenge)? I find it hard to believe that she wouldn't instantly lash out at Daniel, despite her love for him, with magic when she saw him threatening the person she cares about more than anything else in the world: Henry. Just because she was dealing with the loss of someone she loved is no reason why Regina shouldn't be tough! She's a strong person; just like Emma fought a dragon when Henry was on death's door, and Mulan protected Aurora when Philip was about to receive the Dementor's kiss, I believe Regina could  and should have functioned better despite her feelings for Daniel. 

My Score:

6/10.

The Fairytale Land Regina shined, but Storybrooke Regina disappointed me.

My Questions:

- Okay, Daniel's well and truly gone, Graham's dead, and Philip is cursed...is it possible we might start to see characters break the tradition of "One True Love" and have new romances? People like Emma, Regina, and Mulan deserve to move on- after all, people don't just love the first person they kiss forever!

-Does Kilian have little utensils he can attach to his hand? ( I think the cartoon Hook might have...)

-When are Aurora and Mulan going to discuss Philip again???

Next Week:

Emma's criminal past is revealed, and present-Emma fights a giant!!!

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