Chapter 13: In Which Henry Helps The Fast Food Industry

The Grammys ("Grammies?") is playing in the background as I write this review. Justin Timberlake is singing...I'm not really quite sure what Justin Timberlake has put out lately, but then again, I'm not exactly musically knowledgeable. Maybe I just don't listen to the right radio stations. All I want is to go back to alternating between Vanessa Carlton's "White House" and Pink's duet with the lead singer of Fun!, as I've been doing all day. Literally, I've been listening to these two songs all day. My family probably hates me. I'm sure they breathed a sigh of relief when I went to watch ABC's "Once Upon a Time". Tonight's episode is the thirteenth episode of the second season, called "Tiny." I hope you enjoy my review/recap!

What Happened:

The Fairytale World (Past):

• About seven or eight giants are all sitting down for dinner. Everyone is making verbal jabs against Anton, the littlest giant, who the others have nicknamed "Tiny." Through the conversation, we learn that Tiny is quite interested in human culture, despite the fact that the humans are not exactly beloved by giants. Tiny's eldest brother Harlow explains that Tiny needs to focus on planting and raising those multi-dimensional beans we saw in an earlier episode. 
• Charming's twin brother James is making out with someone. They're about to do the nasty when King George walks in. James is totally unfazed by this reversal of a typical childhood trauma, but George explains that we're watching an ABC show with a significant portion of its target audience under the age of fourteen, so we can't have sex scenes. 
• Across town, Tiny is sadly looking into a tavern window; he has come down the beanstalk, curious about the human world. Prince James and the woman he definitely did NOT "have a dalliance with" are there looking suave and adventurous. They offer Tiny a magic mushroom that will shrink him down for a few hours. He accepts, and the woman reveals her name to be Jacqueline..."JACK" for short. 

• Once in the bar, Tiny explains how he's not exactly in love with his family lately. Jack and James totally seduce him verbally and non-sexually, it feels like they're about to whip out a cigarette and force him to deal with peer pressure any second. 
• James goes off for a bathroom break, while Jack explains that James' kingdom is in major debt. Tiny offers to go and get some treasure for his new "friends."
• Later, Harlow walks in on Tiny stealing some treasure in the Giants' Castle. James and Jack walk in, too, but they're looking for the magic beans that the Giants grow...and they're willing to fight to take them. 
• It all ends quite badly. All of the giants except Tiny are killed, and Tiny is forced to burn all of the beans to keep them away from the humans. Jack is killed by Harlow, and James escapes with some treasure. Tiny receives a tiny bean seed that he may use in the future to regrow the beans, and is left alone. 

Storybrooke/Our World:

• Everyone is getting ready for a road trip at the Charming House!

• Of course, Emma was totally rude and didn't inform Rumpelstiltskin that she was taking Henry. Now he has to buy an extra plane ticket and everything. Emma retaliates to Rumpel's "ugh" look with an equally large one at his shawl, which protects him from the town boundary. 
• They leave, and Regina shows up looking for Henry. He, unfortunately, is not here, given that he just left. Snow and David give a really inadequate apology. 

"We feel moderately guilty about possibly implying that you may have done bodily harm to our therapist who never charges  for his sessions."

• The Charming couple goes and talks to Hook, thinking that he might know something about where Cora could be. He shows her the Invi-Ship and a cage that contains Tiny, who is...well, tiny. Or at least human size. The littlest giant is released, but sees David and thinks that he is his brother James, so he punches him out and flees. 
• Ruby visits a sedated Belle in the hospital. It's extremely sad, because Belle doesn't remember magic, or her best friend...oh, and Ruby talks to Greg, but no one cares about him. 

The Audience to Greg:

We're crying because we're not over our Ruby/Belle friendship feels. 

• David realizes that Tiny is mistaking him for his brother. At the same time, Henry asks Rumpelstiltskin a lot of annoying questions as they get ready to go through airport security. Rumpelstiltskin briefly goes through the security line without his scarf/shawl, which- because it is the magical talisman that helps him keep his fairytale identity- gives him a mini-headache/freakout. 
• Regina has a quick conversation with Hook in which she finds out that the Charmings found the ship, and refers to Cora needing "her things." Hook also makes yet another bondage joke. (We get it, Hook, you're a kinky guy. Stop making scenes uncomfortable.) The two also discuss how the giant will be an excellent distraction...
• After being given a size-increasing mushroom, Tiny wreaks havoc in town. David explains that he is not, in fact, James, but his twin brother, while Snow explains that they are, in fact, Emma's parents, but "she's kind of out of time!" (Best line of the episode!!!) 
• Tiny doesn't care about their lame excuses, so he goes after them. He smashes into a pipeline and shrinks back down, landing on a precarious pipe. He toys with the idea of letting himself die, which is rather dark for a Disney-sponsored show, but David and co. manage to rescue the giant. 
• Anton/Tiny is inducted into part of the main cast when he goes to Granny's diner. He worries about being a misfit, and Grumpy delivers what is certainly the most ironic line of the episode: "We got all kinds in Storybrooke!"

Y'know, except for black people, Asian people, Hispanic people, gay people, other sexual minorities...

• Tiny is given a field to plant his last bean in, which the dwarves promise to guard, since everyone is concerned that Cora wanted Tiny to plant the beans for some nefarious ulterior motive. 
• Belle is unnerved to find yet another creepy older  man visiting her in her hospital room, but this time it's Greg Mendel, who says that he saw the ball of fire in Rumpelstiltskin's hand, too...
• Snow and Charming discuss how fun it was to go on an adventure together again, and worry a little over Emma. Snow reaffirms her desire to stay in Storybrooke, since it's the first place that their family has been able to be together. 
• Rumpelstiltskin slams his fist against a toilet-paper dispenser in a bathroom. He tries to heal it, but there is no magic outside of Storybrooke, which really freaks him out. Our trio gets on the plane, and Henry snacks on a cinnamon bun. 

What I Thought:

   I'm not in love with Tiny, but it's not exactly Tiny's fault. As one of my friends commented to me, this is basically a rehash of "The Little Mermaid," only with giants instead of merpeople. I feel bad using this as a critique point, because so many stories have similar elements. It's in the nature of stories to use certain tropes, cliches, and conflicts, simply because these are the plot elements that appeal to us as human beings. It doesn't make the writers unoriginal nor lazy, and it usually doesn't turn the audience/reader off, because we don't so much care about the skeleton of the story as we do the muscle and skin and hair and make-up. There are plenty of versions of "The Little Mermaid" that don't involve a teenage half-fish obsessed with 18th-century architecture. Anyone who watches "Game of Thrones" knows about Arya Stark, a young girl far more interested in the culture and activities of men in her society over those traditionally associated with women. Fans of "Doctor Who" see women voyage away from a world they view as mundane into other galaxies, leaving their families behind. I'm sure you can think of similar examples. The main point is that there are many stories like this, with a young person interested in the world beyond their own who ventures forth and finds trouble, and I just didn't like this version.
   Tiny didn't have enough unique layers to make him stand out in my mind as interesting. Another one of my friends and I discussed this episode earlier today, when we talked about how- other than his obsession with and subsequent hatred of humans- we don't really know who Anton is as a person. It's entirely possible that in future episodes we'll get to know him better, though; after all, if I had been writing these during Season 1, I might have said the same thing about Snow and Charming. They've gotten a ton of development since then that shows us they're not their cliches, and they have a lot backing them up in terms of emotion and motivation. If the writers choose to give some more attention to certain minor characters like Tiny, the problems I've noted might pleasantly fade away.
   This episode, we were treated to a few nice moments with some minor characters. I'm digging the subplot involving Belle and Greg; hopefully these two launch some fun detective mission to learn about the not-so-silent elephant in the, er...town square.

I hope they ask Regina what she knows about fireballs. 

   I also like the consistency when it comes to Ruby and her animosity towards outsiders. If the world at large were to learn about Storybrooke, she would be one of the citizens who could stand to lose the most, and I like that the show is remembering that. I also hope we get more arguments between Snow and David; I've liked seeing the realistic portrayal of their relationship lately. 

   Oh, before I forget-- I have to tear into Grumpy's "We've got all kinds in Storybrooke" line, because it's a bit absurd and indicative of a larger problem within the show: diversity! Lancelot, our only black character, is presumably dead, and Mulan, our only Asian character, is having off-screen adventures in Fairytale Land! Also, where are some LGBTQI characters? I realize that this isn't a very sexual show, but most characters have had romances of one sort or another, and I don't see why we couldn't have "The Prince and the Frog" or "The Swan Princess" and, er... "and another Princess!" I know Disney backs this show, and it's not known for leading the equality bandwagon, but this show is on ABC, for Regina's sake! The same network as "Modern Family" and "Grey's Anatomy," two shows lauded for their portrayal of same-sex relationships! Let's give LeRoy's line some justification with racially diverse and LGBTQI characters !!!! 

My Score:

7/10. 

Tiny's personality is a bit too small at the moment. Give us more Ruby!

My Questions:

• Will Henry ever pass the fifth grade at the rate he's been skipping? 
• How long would Rumpelstiltskin have to be parted with his scarf (what is this "shawl" nonsense) to lose his Fairytale memories for good?
• Is Neal really Baelfire? 
• Just how good is Cora gonna look with her hair down?

Next Week:

Henry escapes in Times Square, Mr. Gold goes shopping for a new cane, and Emma totally meets her ex-boyfriend! But shhh- the writers don't want us to know yet!

(Disclaimer: As always, I've used a lot of gifs, cultural references, memes, and photos. If you or someone you know owns/made one of the gifs/photos/etc., comment below and let me know- I'll take it down, if that's what you wish. I don't claim ownership of any of them, I just browse Tumblr and other sites for ones that fit my blog. Also, I own none of the media I reference. "Once Upon a Time" belongs to ABC, the Harry Potter series belongs to J.K. Rowling and whoever made the movies, "The Little Mermaid" to Disney, "The Road to El Dorado" belongs to Dreamworks, "Family Guy" to Fox and Seth Macfarlene... etc., etc...I own nothing. This blog is for entertainment purposes only! Also, this show is written, acted, made and produced by people far more successful than me thus far in my life. I love it, and I only critique because I care! I also know far less about the world than I pretentiously seem to!)