Chapter 15: In Which The Blue Fairy Tries

I've rediscovered "Wicked," still have dried paint on my fingernails from set-building, and just got back from playing cards with friends. I think it's safe to say that today has been a dramatic day, just as the episode of ABC's "Once Upon a Time" that I'll be recapping and reviewing (2x15: "The Queen is Dead") was packed with drama. But was it of the quality "Grey's Anatomy" Season 7 kind, or more of the "Heroes" Season 3 variety? Read on to find out!

What Happened

The Fairytale Land (flashback)

• It's a young Snow White's birthday eve, so she and her regal mother are busy preparing for the big celebration! But lo- Mrs. Padmore from Downton Abbey, here portraying a servant called Johanna, dares to try on little Snow's new tiara! 

Snow:

Snow's Mom:

• Snow's mom explains that  being born into royalty- an action that took literally no effort on Snow's part, either in the womb or out of it- is not a quality that makes one inherently better than anyone else, and that therefore Snow shouldn't treat servants like they're inferior. Just as we all clamor over each other to give this queen the "Mother of the Year" Award for 2013, she starts coughing up a lung. 

• Quite. 
• At the advice of Johanna, little Snow goes off into the woods to try and find a cure from the Blue Fairy. She finds and talks to said forest-dweller, who suspiciously switches from insisting that there is nothing fairies can do to prevent death...to offering Snow a candle that can exchange the life force of a chosen sacrifice for that of Snow's mother. The fairy makes Snow promise not to tell...
• ...but Snow finds she cannot bring herself to use the candle, since her mother has been trying so hard to teach her to make the morally right choices in life. Tearfully, she explains to the Queen what happened. Her proud mother smiles before dying. 

There are onions in the next room...that's why. 

• After Snow bravely goes to her mom's funeral with Johanna, we find out that the Blue Fairy was Cora in disguise, and that she poisoned Snow's mom. Through Cora's "Muahaha" speech, we learn that she deeply wants to corrupt Snow as a way to get back at the deceased Queen for...something. 

Storybrooke

• IT'S SNOW WHITE'S BIRTHDAAAAAAY!

• But due to the traumatic memories of her mom dying on an early birthday, Snow White doesn't want to celebrate. She goes to visit Johanna, whose whereabouts in Storybrooke were previously unknown (further proof that this is a honking big small town, there's got to be loads of fairytale characters we've yet to see living there.)  Johanna's gift to her is the tiara that her mother gave her on that birthday long ago. 
• After talking to her old servant/mother figure about the long-dead queen, Snow stumbles upon Regina and Cora looking for the dagger. She runs to the sheriff station, where David is just waking up after being knocked out by Hook. (Hook really wanted his hook back.) They decide to buy time for Emma to get back and help. 
• Snow and Regina have an intense stare-down that would make the most uptight school administrator admit defeat. Basically, Snow offers Regina to rejoin "the side of good," while Regina calls her out on her hypocrisy. 
• Mother Superior (aka The Blue Fairy) meets Snow and David in front of Rumpelstiltskin's store. They try to break in using her magic, but her wand won't work. 

• Just as Snow is bringing up the possibility of using dark magic, she gets a call from Emma. Emma tells her where Rumpelstiltskin's dagger is: the clock tower. 
• Snow and David rush up and find the dagger, so that's good. Regina and Cora poof in Nightcrawler style, so that's bad. A fierce stand-off results when Cora magicks Johanna into the tower, offering a trade for the dagger. Snow eventually gives Cora the dagger, but Johanna is killed, anyway. 
• While Snow and David bury Johanna, Cora reveals to Regina (in nowhere less than Regina's old office, stylish as ever) that she arranged for Snow's horse to go crazy, all those years ago, so that Regina could become the queen. Regina articulates a fear that her mother just wants to destroy the Royal Family, not help her get Henry back, but Cora puts this fear down in a rather unconvincing way. 
• Snow tells David that the side of Good doesn't seem to work...people keep dying and being taken away from her. That said, she's decided to kill Cora. 

Manhattan

• Neil and Henry go get pizza while Rumpelstiltskin and Emma discuss how sad it is to feel unloved by their children. One of them deserves the lack of love, one does not. Can you guess which? 
• Henry delivers the ugliest line ever heard on this show when Emma asks him if he likes the pizza. "Great! It's cheesy, delicious, and doesn't lie." 

#sosickofhiscrap

• Just as the pretentious little plot device is asking Rumpelstiltskin if he can call him "Grandpa" (BTW: the answer is a resounding "NO"), Hook jumps out and attacks Rumpelstiltskin with his hook, which has been rubbed with poison since it was stolen back from David. 
• After Emma locks Hook in a closet, the group manages to get Rumpelstiltskin back into Nei's apartment. They decide to take Rumpelstiltskin back to Storybrooke, where magic can save him. 
• Neil reveals that he knows how to drive Hook's ship, since "Earth wasn't my first stop after I left home...otherwise I'd be a few hundred years old." The audience squees, Emma gets Rumpy to tell her where his dagger is, he does, and that leads into the phone call I mentioned earlier. 
• Neil and Emma go to get his car so they can drive to the harbor. Neil's FIANCE (I didn't catch her name, if someone could inform me it would be LOVELY) hugs him goodbye. 

What I Thought

   I would like to breathe a huge sigh of contentment. This was much better than last week's episode, on multiple levels. Since I'm posting these reviews in such close proximity (from a time standpoint), let's talk about this episode in regards to the complaints I laid against the previous one. 

   My first major complaint last week was that the episode didn't use its potential well. Everything was predictable, everything was safe, nothing felt unexpected, and the writers didn't take advantage of the story elements they had before them to break new ground. This episode kicked that one out of its apartment and got a much better new roommate who actually paid their share of the rent. Seriously, kudos on killing off Johanna. I know we just met her this episode, but I thought it was gutsy to kill a character that the writers so quickly established as Snow's surrogate mother. When was the last time a character with a name actually died? Archie was a total fake-out, so this was cool to see- not because I like seeing beloved characters die, but because it raised the stakes. I know now that Regina and Cora [and more importantly, the writers?] mean business. We're still not to the "Nobody is safe" state of mind that many dramas want their audience to be at, but that's okay. This was a big step forward. 

   Snow's identity crisis this episode was also intriguing, as was the flashback. Little Snow's storyline (by the way, her actress is impeccable in terms of how much she acts like Ginnifer Goodwin, Snow White's adult actress) was important to the main Storybrooke plot this week, unlike Rumpelstiltskin's in "Manhattan." We needed to see that Snow White has contemplated dark (yet understandable and, in the case of Cora, maybe even practical) options before in order to see that her vendetta against Cora is viable. Without that flashback, we wouldn't have believed that Snow would ever go through with killing Cora. Now, though...I'm not so sure. This is so much better than Rumpelstiltskin's because it was nothing new, nothing we didn't already know, EXCEPT for the final prophecy regarding Henry. But surely that could have been delivered in a better way. 

   Potential was being taken advantage of across the board this week. Neil having a fiance should make for great drama later on, not to mention Cora's incredibly strategic mind that, when combined with her extreme "mother bear" instincts, has caused so much of the plot on the show. 

   Per my second point, the characters we took a look at this week (little Snow White and adult Snow/Mary Margaret) are far more sympathetic than Gold and Henry. Let's compare the kids and adults. Henry is probably acting a bit more like the average eleven-year-old, so perhaps he's at a disadvantage; still, his whining, rejection of people who make choices he doesn't like or understand, and know-it-all attitude makes his grandmother at his age look far deeper, more complex, and like a much stronger individual. Snow faces ethical dilemmas and makes tough choices that weigh deeply on her. She learns from her mother and takes on the enormous responsibility of attending her mother's funeral in a leadership position. That's impressive and admirable; it's something I don't know if I could do now, much less at her age. I think the differences in how I view these two characters is that, while I look for relatable protagonists with flaws, I also look for heroes-- people who inspire me to be better, who face dire consequences that I never have, but can still connect with. Snow presents that to me in a way that Henry does not. 

   When it comes to the adults, a similar principle applies. Rumpelstiltskin and grown-up Snow/Mary Margaret have both recently been humanized, but Rumpelstiltskin's flaw (his selfishness, not his cowardice) is magnified to such a great extent that I don't want to relate to him. Snow's ethical decision this episode, however, is a scary yet realistic one. Cora has been putting those she loves in danger for her entire life. Her mother and Johanna are dead, and her daughter has been repeatedly put up against grave threats. Cora will most likely try and hurt or kill more of the people she loves. Should Snow compromise her morality, which has done nothing but compromise her in the past? This is thought-provoking, brain-stumping stuff that Snow has to deal with, whereas Rumpelstiltskin just keeps repeating himself.  

My Score:

8/10. 

Thought-provoking dilemmas and upped stakes takes the cake this week. 

My Questions:

• Assuming us Captain Swan shippers (people who wants Emma and Captain Hook to fall in love) are not totally crazy and a love quadrangle between Neil, Emma, Kilian and Neil's fiance (whose name I didn't quite catch) is indeed being set up, will it blossom in the final episodes of this season, or are the writers looking ahead to Season 3 and beyond? 
• Neil's been shown to be a mostly-decent guy so far, doing everything out of love for Emma in the past and desiring to reconnect with his long-lost son immediately. He didn't try and deny to Emma that he's moved on romantically, and is putting aside his justified anger to help his jerk of a father. That said...what's his flaw? What's wrong with him? What character trait is he going to have to struggle with? 
• Will Neil call out Henry on the crappy treatment he doles out to his mothers? 

Next Week (technically tonight, but shush):

Will Snow follow through? Will Regina follow suit with Cora's commands? 

(Disclaimer: As always, I've used a lot of gifs, memes, photos, and cultural references in this review/recap. None of them are mine! If you or someone you know owns/made own of the gifs/photos/etc., comment below and let me know- I'll take it down, if that's what you wish. I don't claim ownership of any of them, I just browse Tumblr and other websites for stuff that could fit into my blog and its reviews/recaps. Also, I own none of the media I reference. "Once Upon a Time" belongs to ABC , as does "The B in Apartment 23," "Downton Abbey" belongs to the BBC, "Heroes" belongs to NBC, "Grey's Anatomy" belongs to ABC, I don't know Mila Kunis or Tom Hiddleston, etc., etc...I own nothing! This blog is for entertainment purposes only!!! Also, this show is written, acted, produced and made by people far more successful than me thus far in my life. I really do like it, and I only critique because I care! I  know far less about the world than I pretentiously seem to.)

   

Chapter 14: In Which Harry Potter is Used as Therapy

Shortly before I could publish this, I was kidnapped by Regina and locked in her castle, where she made me interview her for a biography on her life. I tried to explain to her that I had other writing projects, namely this, that needed work done, but she started tossing around fireballs. I've only been released long enough to cobble together the first draft, since I convinced her computers work faster for writing. Be glad you guys got this review at all! ;)


What Happened:

Baelfire is Neil. Who knew. 

What I Thought:

I didn't like it. 

Next W-

MY READERS:

   Yeah, yeah, I know I normally give you more than that, and I still plan on it. But I really did not enjoy tonight's episode of ABC's normally-fabulous "Once Upon a Time," 2x14: "Manhattan." On multiple levels. I'm watching "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban" (technically listening to it as I type, but whatever), I so did not enjoy this episode. I need good, quality stories about magic with well-written kids/early teenagers and believable characterization, and this episode simply did not deliver.Let's get the recap out of the way so I can whine about the work of successful screenwriters and television directors. Hopefully someday I will write a successful show and some kid will whine about the worst episode I write. 

What Happened (Attempt #2)

The Fairytale Land (The Past)

• Rumpelstiltskin is looking the best he has since he discovered coconut butter skin cream. He just got his Early Decision acceptance letter from the local militia to go and fight in the Ogre Wars! His wife, Mila, is quite happy for him, especially since it's the chance he wanted to prove that he's not a coward like his father. 
• At a camp near the front-lines, Rumpelstiltskin meets an imprisoned seer with eyes that look scary beyond all reason. She tells him that Rumpelstiltskin's actions here will "make his son fatherless." Rumpelstiltskin assumes this means he'll die, so he maims himself with a hammer. 

Marvelous plan, old boy. 

• Needless to say, Mila is less than pleased with this upon his return. She goes off to scope out local single pirates in her zip code. 
• Years later, Rumpelstiltskin meets the seer. There's a lot of back and forth about how terrible her life is because of her seer powers. Rumpelstiltskin takes her power, which kills her and gives her peace. He also learns that he will find his son Baelfire in many years, and that a young boy will lead him to Bae and then be his undoing...

Storybrooke/Manhattan

• Henry, Emma, and Rumpelstiltskin arrive at an apartment building in New York. (Apparently Henry got to ride shotgun in the taxi. He probably used the Book as an excuse. "Emma, trust me- in the Book, I was riding up front. Now, maybe it doesn't mean anything, but the Book hasn't led us astray so far..." And yes, he would use the word "astray," because he's that pretentious.)
• Someone jumps out of the apartment fire escape, and Rumpelstiltskin knows that whoever it is is his son. Emma chases him, and learns that it's Neil. Neil is Baelfire. 

Said no one ever. 

• Neil and Emma walk into a bar. (No, this is not the start of an over-told joke.) They discuss their relationship, and how Neil didn't know who Emma was when he fell in love with her. We also get the most ridiculous reveal ever: When August showed Bae something in the box to convince him that he knew about magic, it was the typewriter with the words "I KNOW YOU'RE BAELFIRE" written on a sheet of paper. This doesn't even make sense, why didn't August just say "Hello, Baelfire" as a conversation starter, it would've saved everyone so much time. 
• Emma ditches Neil without telling him about Henry and calls Snow for advice, but ignores it and doesn't tell Henry who his dad is. The trio breaks into Neil's apartment, but get into a fight when Rumpel suspects she's lying to him about losing his son in the chase. 
• When Mr. Gold reveals that his anger management problem is still...well, a problem, Neil bursts in and tells Gold to GTFO. Rumpelstiltskin is apparently quite intuitive and realizes that Emma and Neil have something between them, and then Henry walks in and obnoxiously gets in the way. Neil quickly starts to put the pieces together and realizes that Henry is his son, which angers Henry because he thought that his father was a dead fireman, as Emma told him. 

We're disappointed that Baelfire is your dad, too, Henry. Whatcha gonna do?

• Henry goes outside to think about his deep angst artistically on a fire escape. He's probably hearing a L'Oreal commercial in the background while his hair blows in the wind, which is okay, because for this entire part of the episode I was hearing the soundtrack of "Mamma Mia," it just fits the adoption/parenthood drama so well. 
• Baelfire/Neil and Mr. Gold have a conversation which boils down to...

Gold:

"I moderately regret what I've done because it had negative consequences for me and mine, though I still think I didn't do anything that could be considered ethically questionable. "

Bae/Neil:

• Emma tries to convince Henry that she was lying about Neil's identity to keep Henry safe. Henry doesn't but it, but he does get to bond with Bae (alliteration is amazingly appealing) on the balcony [/fire escape]. 
• Back in Storybrooke, Cora is looking 

          in her twenty-first century attire. Not to mention her hair is down, and it looks really cool. But I   

          digress. Basically, in this episode, Regina, Cora and Hook go on a mini-scavenger hunt for 

          Rumpelstiltskin's dagger. They find a map with its location, so to Regina and Cora knocking out Hook

          and departing. Cora declares that shall use its magic to destroy the Royal Family and get Henry back!

• Oh, yeah, Greg Mendel has a recording on Rumpelstiltskin doing magic.

What I Thought:

   Let's address the reveal this episode so we can move on to ranting about other things: Neil is Baelfire. Baelfire is Neil. Neil is Henry's father, ergo Rumpelstiltskin is Henry's grandfather. Most of the fandom predicted this, probably because Neil is the only named character I can think of who lives outside of Storybrooke. Barring actually making Baelfire a new character all grown up, there was no other option. Perhaps if Rumpelstiltskin hadn't been so convinced his son was outside of Storybrooke, there might have been more contenders, but his quest into the main part of America pretty much confirmed it couldn't be anyone within the town. That left Neil, and a lot of us were irked that we didn't get a more creative reveal. But all shows have predictable moments, so we shouldn't judge the show solely based on that. 

   What we SHOULD judge this episode on can be split into two main points: wasted potential, and unsympathetic characters that the writers demanded us to sympathize with. As far as potential goes this episode, it had a lot: Emma, Rumpelstiltskin and Henry go on an adventure to New York, searching for Baelfire! That screams fun character interactions and scenarios, but all of the scenes felt very dry and formulaic. Nothing unexpected happened. The group found Baelfire, argued a bit, but are on a track to healing (except for Neil and Rumpel, but I never expected that.) Meanwhile, in Storybrooke, another fun bunch of characters barely got any scenes on a quest that could've been completed much faster. The Fairytale Land storyline was the rotten cherry on top; the only thing of value we learned from it was that Rumpelstiltskin's downfall is prophesied to come at the hands of the boy who leads him to his son-- aka, Henry. This has the potential to be really interesting, because of how Rumpelstiltskin may choose to deal with the prophecy, but it should have been delivered better. We already know that Rumpel was a coward. We know he ran away from a battle, and we didn't need to know more. Instead the show gave us a rather convoluted story about a seer, his father, and his leg. 

   Why did we need an episode about how Rumpelstiltskin "became" a coward? Cowardice isn't a state of being or a disease, it's a human flaw. Everyone has at least one (most of us several), and I really object to the writers' seeming belief that all fatal flaws need to have some "incident" that sparks them. You don't get "turned into" an alcoholic from one wild party, just like buying expensive jeans once will not turn you into a greedy miser, or critiquing self-made art will not make you self-loathing. Rumpelstiltskin has been shown in flashbacks to be very fearful of the world and of conflict, but in this episode he seems outgoing and cocky before going to the frontline. The prophecy and his self-maiming are portrayed as the turning point in his life when he "became" a coward, despite the fact that his cowardice is more likely something Rumpel always has and always will have to deal with.
   Now, when it comes to the two characters the show deeply wanted our hearts to go out to, Henry and Rumpelstiltskin...I'll  only briefly discuss Rumpelstiltskin, because I've already made my thoughts on his selfish nature quite clear in earlier reviews. He cares about his emotions, not Bae's- the entire point of this mission is to bring Bae back into his father's life, whether Bae wants it or not. That's selfishness disguised with love, and I loved that Bae called Gold out on his behavior and didn't give him what he wanted.
   Secondly, Henry. It's no secret that I despise his bratty pretentiousness, but this episode really took the cake in terms of his rude behavior. It's understandable that he'd be hurt over Emma lying to him, but he was really quite cruel to her. It's like whenever he gets into a fight with a parental figure, he looks to another as a kind of savior from the undesirable qualities of the former. He did it with Regina, and now it appears he's doing it to Emma, at least temporarily. I just don't see how the show can portray him and Rumpel as likable heroes with the way they've been behaving in this episode.

My Score:

2/10. 

The predictable plot was cluttered with unnecessary tangents and unlikable "heroes."

My Questions:

• Cora is clearly loving modern-day clothing...what other parts of 21st-century America is she digging? Does she adore fast food? Is "Jersey Shore" her new guilty pleasure? Perhaps she's already applying to Harvard's law school so that she can learn the rules of this land and work her way up to a Presidential Candidate? ("Cora 2020!")
• Who will Henry go to when Neil acts parental?
• Will Regina go along with Cora's plan? 

Next Week (at the time I watched this):

Snow goes solo against Cora, and Rumpelstiltskin draws the attention back to himself!

(Disclaimer: As always, I've used a lot of gifs, memes, photos, and cultural references in this review/recap. If you or someone you know owns/made own of the gifs/photos/etc., comment below and let me know- I'll take it down, if that's what you wish. I don't claim ownership of any of them, I just browse Tumblr and other websites for stuff that could fit into my blog and its reviews/recaps. Also, I own none of the media I reference. "Once Upon a Time" belongs to ABC , "Doctor Who" to the BBC, "Game of Thrones" to HBO and George R.R. Martin, "House" to Fox, "The Little Mermaid" to Disney, "How I Met Your Mother" to CBS, etc., etc. ...I own nothing! This blog is for entertainment purposes only!!! Also, this show is written, acted, produced and made by people far more successful than me thus far in my life. I really do like it, and I only critique because I care! I  know far less about the world than I pretentiously seem to.)

Chapter 13: In Which Henry Helps The Fast Food Industry

The Grammys ("Grammies?") is playing in the background as I write this review. Justin Timberlake is singing...I'm not really quite sure what Justin Timberlake has put out lately, but then again, I'm not exactly musically knowledgeable. Maybe I just don't listen to the right radio stations. All I want is to go back to alternating between Vanessa Carlton's "White House" and Pink's duet with the lead singer of Fun!, as I've been doing all day. Literally, I've been listening to these two songs all day. My family probably hates me. I'm sure they breathed a sigh of relief when I went to watch ABC's "Once Upon a Time". Tonight's episode is the thirteenth episode of the second season, called "Tiny." I hope you enjoy my review/recap!

What Happened:

The Fairytale World (Past):

• About seven or eight giants are all sitting down for dinner. Everyone is making verbal jabs against Anton, the littlest giant, who the others have nicknamed "Tiny." Through the conversation, we learn that Tiny is quite interested in human culture, despite the fact that the humans are not exactly beloved by giants. Tiny's eldest brother Harlow explains that Tiny needs to focus on planting and raising those multi-dimensional beans we saw in an earlier episode. 
• Charming's twin brother James is making out with someone. They're about to do the nasty when King George walks in. James is totally unfazed by this reversal of a typical childhood trauma, but George explains that we're watching an ABC show with a significant portion of its target audience under the age of fourteen, so we can't have sex scenes. 
• Across town, Tiny is sadly looking into a tavern window; he has come down the beanstalk, curious about the human world. Prince James and the woman he definitely did NOT "have a dalliance with" are there looking suave and adventurous. They offer Tiny a magic mushroom that will shrink him down for a few hours. He accepts, and the woman reveals her name to be Jacqueline..."JACK" for short. 

• Once in the bar, Tiny explains how he's not exactly in love with his family lately. Jack and James totally seduce him verbally and non-sexually, it feels like they're about to whip out a cigarette and force him to deal with peer pressure any second. 
• James goes off for a bathroom break, while Jack explains that James' kingdom is in major debt. Tiny offers to go and get some treasure for his new "friends."
• Later, Harlow walks in on Tiny stealing some treasure in the Giants' Castle. James and Jack walk in, too, but they're looking for the magic beans that the Giants grow...and they're willing to fight to take them. 
• It all ends quite badly. All of the giants except Tiny are killed, and Tiny is forced to burn all of the beans to keep them away from the humans. Jack is killed by Harlow, and James escapes with some treasure. Tiny receives a tiny bean seed that he may use in the future to regrow the beans, and is left alone. 

Storybrooke/Our World:

• Everyone is getting ready for a road trip at the Charming House!

• Of course, Emma was totally rude and didn't inform Rumpelstiltskin that she was taking Henry. Now he has to buy an extra plane ticket and everything. Emma retaliates to Rumpel's "ugh" look with an equally large one at his shawl, which protects him from the town boundary. 
• They leave, and Regina shows up looking for Henry. He, unfortunately, is not here, given that he just left. Snow and David give a really inadequate apology. 

"We feel moderately guilty about possibly implying that you may have done bodily harm to our therapist who never charges  for his sessions."

• The Charming couple goes and talks to Hook, thinking that he might know something about where Cora could be. He shows her the Invi-Ship and a cage that contains Tiny, who is...well, tiny. Or at least human size. The littlest giant is released, but sees David and thinks that he is his brother James, so he punches him out and flees. 
• Ruby visits a sedated Belle in the hospital. It's extremely sad, because Belle doesn't remember magic, or her best friend...oh, and Ruby talks to Greg, but no one cares about him. 

The Audience to Greg:

We're crying because we're not over our Ruby/Belle friendship feels. 

• David realizes that Tiny is mistaking him for his brother. At the same time, Henry asks Rumpelstiltskin a lot of annoying questions as they get ready to go through airport security. Rumpelstiltskin briefly goes through the security line without his scarf/shawl, which- because it is the magical talisman that helps him keep his fairytale identity- gives him a mini-headache/freakout. 
• Regina has a quick conversation with Hook in which she finds out that the Charmings found the ship, and refers to Cora needing "her things." Hook also makes yet another bondage joke. (We get it, Hook, you're a kinky guy. Stop making scenes uncomfortable.) The two also discuss how the giant will be an excellent distraction...
• After being given a size-increasing mushroom, Tiny wreaks havoc in town. David explains that he is not, in fact, James, but his twin brother, while Snow explains that they are, in fact, Emma's parents, but "she's kind of out of time!" (Best line of the episode!!!) 
• Tiny doesn't care about their lame excuses, so he goes after them. He smashes into a pipeline and shrinks back down, landing on a precarious pipe. He toys with the idea of letting himself die, which is rather dark for a Disney-sponsored show, but David and co. manage to rescue the giant. 
• Anton/Tiny is inducted into part of the main cast when he goes to Granny's diner. He worries about being a misfit, and Grumpy delivers what is certainly the most ironic line of the episode: "We got all kinds in Storybrooke!"

Y'know, except for black people, Asian people, Hispanic people, gay people, other sexual minorities...

• Tiny is given a field to plant his last bean in, which the dwarves promise to guard, since everyone is concerned that Cora wanted Tiny to plant the beans for some nefarious ulterior motive. 
• Belle is unnerved to find yet another creepy older  man visiting her in her hospital room, but this time it's Greg Mendel, who says that he saw the ball of fire in Rumpelstiltskin's hand, too...
• Snow and Charming discuss how fun it was to go on an adventure together again, and worry a little over Emma. Snow reaffirms her desire to stay in Storybrooke, since it's the first place that their family has been able to be together. 
• Rumpelstiltskin slams his fist against a toilet-paper dispenser in a bathroom. He tries to heal it, but there is no magic outside of Storybrooke, which really freaks him out. Our trio gets on the plane, and Henry snacks on a cinnamon bun. 

What I Thought:

   I'm not in love with Tiny, but it's not exactly Tiny's fault. As one of my friends commented to me, this is basically a rehash of "The Little Mermaid," only with giants instead of merpeople. I feel bad using this as a critique point, because so many stories have similar elements. It's in the nature of stories to use certain tropes, cliches, and conflicts, simply because these are the plot elements that appeal to us as human beings. It doesn't make the writers unoriginal nor lazy, and it usually doesn't turn the audience/reader off, because we don't so much care about the skeleton of the story as we do the muscle and skin and hair and make-up. There are plenty of versions of "The Little Mermaid" that don't involve a teenage half-fish obsessed with 18th-century architecture. Anyone who watches "Game of Thrones" knows about Arya Stark, a young girl far more interested in the culture and activities of men in her society over those traditionally associated with women. Fans of "Doctor Who" see women voyage away from a world they view as mundane into other galaxies, leaving their families behind. I'm sure you can think of similar examples. The main point is that there are many stories like this, with a young person interested in the world beyond their own who ventures forth and finds trouble, and I just didn't like this version.
   Tiny didn't have enough unique layers to make him stand out in my mind as interesting. Another one of my friends and I discussed this episode earlier today, when we talked about how- other than his obsession with and subsequent hatred of humans- we don't really know who Anton is as a person. It's entirely possible that in future episodes we'll get to know him better, though; after all, if I had been writing these during Season 1, I might have said the same thing about Snow and Charming. They've gotten a ton of development since then that shows us they're not their cliches, and they have a lot backing them up in terms of emotion and motivation. If the writers choose to give some more attention to certain minor characters like Tiny, the problems I've noted might pleasantly fade away.
   This episode, we were treated to a few nice moments with some minor characters. I'm digging the subplot involving Belle and Greg; hopefully these two launch some fun detective mission to learn about the not-so-silent elephant in the, er...town square.

I hope they ask Regina what she knows about fireballs. 

   I also like the consistency when it comes to Ruby and her animosity towards outsiders. If the world at large were to learn about Storybrooke, she would be one of the citizens who could stand to lose the most, and I like that the show is remembering that. I also hope we get more arguments between Snow and David; I've liked seeing the realistic portrayal of their relationship lately. 

   Oh, before I forget-- I have to tear into Grumpy's "We've got all kinds in Storybrooke" line, because it's a bit absurd and indicative of a larger problem within the show: diversity! Lancelot, our only black character, is presumably dead, and Mulan, our only Asian character, is having off-screen adventures in Fairytale Land! Also, where are some LGBTQI characters? I realize that this isn't a very sexual show, but most characters have had romances of one sort or another, and I don't see why we couldn't have "The Prince and the Frog" or "The Swan Princess" and, er... "and another Princess!" I know Disney backs this show, and it's not known for leading the equality bandwagon, but this show is on ABC, for Regina's sake! The same network as "Modern Family" and "Grey's Anatomy," two shows lauded for their portrayal of same-sex relationships! Let's give LeRoy's line some justification with racially diverse and LGBTQI characters !!!! 

My Score:

7/10. 

Tiny's personality is a bit too small at the moment. Give us more Ruby!

My Questions:

• Will Henry ever pass the fifth grade at the rate he's been skipping? 
• How long would Rumpelstiltskin have to be parted with his scarf (what is this "shawl" nonsense) to lose his Fairytale memories for good?
• Is Neal really Baelfire? 
• Just how good is Cora gonna look with her hair down?

Next Week:

Henry escapes in Times Square, Mr. Gold goes shopping for a new cane, and Emma totally meets her ex-boyfriend! But shhh- the writers don't want us to know yet!

(Disclaimer: As always, I've used a lot of gifs, cultural references, memes, and photos. If you or someone you know owns/made one of the gifs/photos/etc., comment below and let me know- I'll take it down, if that's what you wish. I don't claim ownership of any of them, I just browse Tumblr and other sites for ones that fit my blog. Also, I own none of the media I reference. "Once Upon a Time" belongs to ABC, the Harry Potter series belongs to J.K. Rowling and whoever made the movies, "The Little Mermaid" to Disney, "The Road to El Dorado" belongs to Dreamworks, "Family Guy" to Fox and Seth Macfarlene... etc., etc...I own nothing. This blog is for entertainment purposes only! Also, this show is written, acted, made and produced by people far more successful than me thus far in my life. I love it, and I only critique because I care! I also know far less about the world than I pretentiously seem to!)

Chapter 10: In Which Charming Brings Back Fur Coats

Well, here we are, folks. We've officially survived the Mayan Apocalypse, the holidays, and the fiscal cliff-- and if you're reading this blog, you've also survived an excruciatingly-long wait for new episodes of ABC's "Once Upon a Time," so pat yourselves on the back.

Tonight, your trial has ended. The sun has come out, a new day has dawned, the Dark Age is dead, Harry Potter's dumped Cho Chang, we're getting a new Star Wars movie, I'm no longer a minor, we had a white Christmas, there are ten billion flavors of Five Gum, and the dog days...well, you get the drift. 

Life is good. Now that that's been established, let's get down to the thick of things-- namely, my recap and review that you awesome peeps kindly read for some reason every week. I love you all! 

What Happened

Storybrooke:

• Hook and Cora are newly-arrived party-crashers in Storybrooke, getting off Hook's big-as-all-getup pirate ship. Cora uses a bit of magic to turn it invisible and advises Hook that he'll need to proceed carefully if he's to take on Rumpelstiltskin in a world that now has magic. (Oh, and they turn some poor dude into a fish. Bullying in Storybrooke is dangerous.)
• The next morning, Emma and Henry walk in on Snow and David. 

Emma:

Henry:

David and Snow:

• Naturally, they flee to make tacos, which is what everyone does when this happens in their life.
• Later, they bring said tacos to a party at Granny's. Regina shows up and is totally awkward and is super-relatable because it's basically how I acted at the parties I've been to in my high school career, which I can count on one hand. Grumpy is a jerk to Regina, but Emma convinces everybody to give Regina a chance. 
• Regina feels awkward and doesn't have the amazing people who seem to find me at parties and make me feel welcome, resulting in her leaving early. Emma tries to get her to stay, and the conversation takes a turn for the worse when Emma mentions that Dr. Archie Hopper told her Regina was trying to change for the better. It's clearly a clear violation of doctor-patient confidentiality, and Regina is understandably furious. She snaps at Emma when the latter denies her the chance to let Henry sleepover, calling Emma out on thinking she could be a mother after "five minutes," when Regina's been doing it for ten years. 

Me:

"You go, Regina."

• Regina apologizes (boo) and Emma accepts it. The next day, Regina goes and yells at Archie, understandably. Ruby is jogging nearby, and somehow accomplishes the remarkable feat of asking them if they have a problem (I say it's remarkable because as part of my New Year's resolution, I have taken up jogging, and I cannot say a word after two minutes of jogging, I'm gasping so hard for breath). Regina tells her to depart with a sassy comment that I cannot do justice to here. Just go watch the episode, it's marvelous. 
• Later, Cora disguises herself as Regina and goes to Archie's apartment, where she kills him! 
• The next morning, Emma and Henry are having breakfast at Granny's, because Emma can't cook anything except tacos and although Henry was tolerant for the first five weeks, it's just not going to happen again. 
• Henry the truant goes to school while Emma and Ruby investigate Archie's office and find his body. They arrest Regina, and it's basically an episode of Law and Order: Storybrooke. David is Stabler and Emma is his Olivia, reigning in his Javert-ian tendencies. 
• After Regina denies doing anything in the interrogation, Emma argues with David and Snow over whether or not Regina has changed, referencing her past as a criminal and how much she changed. Emma essentially points out that, even if Regina hasn't changed, she never would've left so much evidence pointing to her. 
• Emma believes Regina has been framed. They go and talk to Gold, convinced that he did it. He denies it and Belle has no idea that Archie's dead. Where have you been, Belle? 
• Gold gets Archie's dog Pongo and uses a dreamcatcher to help Emma do some magic, in which she accesses Pongo's memories and sees that "Regina"/Cora really did kill Archie. 

Emma:

"I totally stuck up for that----"

• At Regina's house, a fight ensues and Regina uses magic, angry when Emma tells her she'll never see Henry again. Everyone gets super-judgmental and it makes me super-sad for Regina, who poofs away . (Oh. And Regina utters the phrase "I assume you're here to apologize," which I'm expecting to see in at least three Swan Queen videos by the end of the week. AMV-ers, you have your task. Get to it.)
• At the bus stop, Emma is nervous about telling Henry that Archie is dead and Regina apparently killed him. We get a really touching scene where Emma and David and Snow all realize that none of them know how to be parents, but it's okay because really...who does? They'll figure it out. Emma then tells Henry about what happened while Regina watches on from afar, heartbroken as she sees the son she so wanted to prove herself to hear a lie that will break his heart.
• At the docks, it turns out that Cora did kill someone and disguised the body as Archie's, but she doesn't know whose it was. She actually kidnapped Archie, who is now being held on Hook's ship with the intent to torture him for information about Rumpelstiltskin's emotional weaknesses (along with those of everyone else in the town...)

Fairytale Land (Past):

• Snow and Charming capture Regina after defeating King George the Unspecified Numeral. 

How the Capture Goes Down:

Regina:

Snow and Charming:

• (By the way, Charming is wearing a very fashionable fur coat. I hope he brings that back in Storybrooke, the plaid is getting boring.)
• At a counsel meeting, it's essentially decided that they should execute Regina. Snow has a problem with killing, which seems odd considering how much killing there likely was in the war that just ended against King George, but I guess we're just ignoring that. 
• After her dad tells her to show regret in an attempt to get some slack from the royals, Regina flat out ignores him and goes all Disney villain on Snow before she can be executed. Charming's all "Oh my God, Snow, you can't just stop an execution!" but Snow ignores him and chats with Rumpelstiltskin about what's to be done with Regina. Snow truly believes that Regina's good side is still somewhere within her. 
• Rumpelstiltskin comes up with a test to see if Regina has any good in her. Long and cumbersome test short, Regina fails and tries to kill Snow when she lets her go, resulting in her banishment. 
• On the day of The Royal Wedding (the one that didn't involve somebody named Middleton), Rumpelstiltskin points out that while a spell he placed on Charming and Snow to protect them from Regina works in the Fairytale Land, it doesn't work outside of it...setting the stage for her to use the curse. 

What I Thought

   The thing that struck me the most this week wasn't the theme of change, which was deep and intriguing, but I'm sure you all got that yourselves. What I enjoyed this week was the more mature vibe the show had. For a lot of this season, I've missed some of the grittier, more intense themes and aspects of the show's first season. Remember when David was cheating on his Storybrooke-wife Abigail, but it was confusing and divisive among viewers because he was technically married to Snow White? How about when Mary Margaret was suspected of killing David's wife? Even Regina's murder of her own father was incredibly dark. The show continuously showed that fairytales could be scary and their characters could be complex and realistic, and while that hasn't been lacking this season, it hadn't been as strong. 

   The edge was back tonight, for the most part. It started with the bedroom walk-in scene, which was a nice acknowledgment of more adult relationships that didn't get too uncomfortable for younger viewers. The momentum carried on with the murder and the debate over execution and rehabilitation, though a bit was lost when Archie was revealed to be alive (just a bit-- remember, Cora said she had killed someone, and didn't even care who it was!) I think the gritty, grown-up pieces of this episode were things I had been missing, though I didn't quite realize it until tonight. 

    This is a show that tries to appeal to multiple age demographics, and is starting to remember it again. Besides this bright point, other great moments included Emma trying to understand Regina's attempt to change herself, along with the conversation between David, Emma and Snow about parenthood. Two things bothered me this week: the fact that Archie isn't really dead (I was hoping the stakes would be raised a bit by showing us that main characters can die and actually stay dead, but so far the show keeps offering ways out: Abigail and Archie both turned out not to have actually been murdered, while Prince Charming looks like he's not gone for good, based on the ending of the winter finale) and the dialogue in the Fairytale Land. It's very stiff and stilted at times, like the writers can't decide whether they're going for classic fantasy tongues or something more...modernized, like the Percy Jackson series, where mythological creatures have updated themselves to the modern world. The soldier who gave the report to Regina in the opening scene was particularly distracting. 

My Score:

6/10.

The episode dragged a little bit in the middle, but had a lot of good character moments and a fantastic return to some of its more adult themes. 

My Questions:

• Who was the person that Cora actually killed: Random Citizen #17, or somebody we care about more? 
• Now that Regina's an outlaw, will she be forced to try and flee Storybrooke (or live in the woods and frolic with a resurrected Graham?)
• Will everyone believe that Regina killed Archie? I feel like Gold might suspect something's up...

Next Week:

Grumpy wants to return to the Fairytale Land, and Rumpelstiltskin plays a deadly game of hopscotch.

(Disclaimer: As always, I've used a lot of gifs, cultural references, memes, and photos. If you or someone you know owns/made one of the gifs/photos/etc., comment below and let me know- I'll take it down, if that's what you wish. I don't claim ownership of any of them, I just browse Tumblr and other sites for ones that fit my blog. Also, I own none of the media I reference. "Once Upon a Time" belongs to ABC, Percy Jackson belongs to Rick Riordan,"The Big Bang Theory" belongs to CBS, "GLEE" belongs to Fox, etc., etc...I own nothing. Entertainment purposes only!)

Chapter 9: In Which Hook is a Wannabe-Ninja

This is it, guys and girls, ladies and gentlement, people from across the globe. Tonight was the grand (Winter) finale of ABC's "Once Upon a Time," 2x09: "Queen of Hearts." It was a wrap-up to the first half of the season's storylines, so we were expecting a lot from it. Did it deliver? Let's find out!

 

What Happened:

 

The Fairytale Land (the Past)

• Hook is a total master of disguise. Using his Cloak of Hiddenness, he manages to break into Belle's cell, where Regina is keeping her. He asks Belle is she knows how to Rumpelstiltskin, but soon learns she's about as helpful as a Blue-Ray disc in the Nineties.
• Regina shows up looking like a stylish Fifties fashion designer (I mean, seriously, THAT HAIR) and wants to know why Hook is messing with her prisoner. When she learns of his desire to kill Rumpelstiltskin, she decides to offer him a deal:  Kill her mother, Cora (so that she doesn't get taken to Storybrooke when Regina casts the curse) and Regina will help her kill Rumpelstiltskin.

Hook:

"Meh, Les Miserables doesn't come out for a month, I got time to kill...I'm in."

 

Regina:



 

• So then Hook goes to Wonderland, where apparently Cora has taken up residence as the Queen of Hearts. We don't really find out why, but she was disguising her face and voice. Whatevs.
• Hook tries to steal Cora's heart using a magic something-or-other given to him by Regina. Unfortunately, it doesn't work. Cora stops him and steals Hook's heart. When she learns what he was doing, she has him do something for her, instead.
• Hook lugs Cora back to the main Fairytale Land, where he plops her in a coffin and pretends she's dead. Regina buys it, and actually seems quite saddened: apparently she only wanted Cora dead because she still loved her, despite everything Cora had done to her. She didn't want Cora to hold her back, because- as Cora once told Regina- "love is weakness."
• Later, we discover how Mulan, Aurora, Philip, Cora, and Hook were protected from the curse: Cora cast a protective spell over herself and Hook, along with a large portion of the Fairytale Land that they were standing in. Everyone there was protected from the curse. It looked a lot like the defensive charms from the Battle of Hogwarts, but I digress.

 

The Fairytale Land AND Storybrooke (present) - (these two are far too tied together this week to separate...)

• Within Gold's shop, David is snoozing and Henry is reading to him. Regina thinks it's sweet, even though we all know she's vomiting on the inside.
• Gold and Regina discuss the fact that while Emma and Snow MIGHT be the ones to make it out of the portal, it's far more likely Cora will win. In the name of practicality, the two schemers decide to pull a heist!



Is it too soon to make a joke regarding who could have helped them? Technically he's been dead twenty-eight years, sooooooo...?

• Back in the Fairytale Land, the Disney Princess Brigade gets to Rumpelstiltskin's cell. Unfortunately for them, they don't find the ink-- only a piece of paper with Emma's name written on it over, and over, and over again...it's, like, TOTALLY "Criminal Minds: European Folklore."
• Suddenly Aurora traps them in their cell! Has she betrayed them all? Is she jealous that Mulan got a sundial patent and didn't split the reward with her? No, nothing nearly so melodramatic, it's just Cora and Hook using her disembodied heart to possess her.
• Cora and Hook snatch the compass back. Hook takes a moment to let Emma know, in no uncertain terms, that they are never, ever, EVER getting back together. She could care less. The shippers should care less, but we do. We DO care. Many a "Captain Swan" fan will spend the month of December aching for the Romance of the Year to pick up again.



Yes, Leah Michelle...Yes, we have.

• Regina and Gold cackle and tiptoe up to the Magic Well in the Storybrooke Woods (remember the one from last year's finale? The one that Gold poured the True Love Potion into in order to bring magic back to Storybrooke?) Together, they dump the magic they stole from the fairy-dust mines into the well via a lightning-bolt, booger-colored so that we know it's bad.
• Henry and Ruby show up, horrified at what Regina has done. Regina and Gold assure them that it's a necessary and realistic defense; Cora will most likely defeat Emma and Snow, thus allowing herself to enter Storybrooke and hurt Henry. The kid is less than understanding.
• In the Fairytale Land, Mulan further proves her intelligence by locating the ink bottle. It's empty, unfortunately. Snow then realizes that the ink is within the paper, written a thousand times as Emma's name. She blows the words off the scroll of Creeper Paper and into the bars, thus releasing them.
• The Disney Princess Brigade arrives to the lake where Hook and Cora were about to jump into a portal to Storybrooke. They have a REALLY, uber-intense battle with lots of "Girl, please" and "This place about to" moments, it's really quite exciting. (Oh, and Hook and Emma have more eyesex. LOTS more. That's probably the real reason Cora is angry, because she thinks Emma is stealin' "her man.")
• Eventually, Mulan gets Aurora's heart back and goes off to free her. Cora tries to grab Emma's heart, but it won't work- a big blast of energy comes out of Emma's heart and knocks Cora down.



Emma has the Power of Heart!

• Emma and Snow make it back to Storybrooke safely, thanks to Regina deciding to trust Henry that Good would win and Emma and Snow would be the ones to come through the portal, resulting in a vastly-painful spell in which Regina sucked up the evil booger-colored lightning bolt so that Snow and Emma survived the trip home.
• Henry is totally ungrateful, but luckily Emma has better manners. Snow kisses David and wakes him up, Henry FINALLY thanks Regina before going off to get dinner with Emma, and Regina is very sad because Gold rubs the whole "There goes your son, off to look up to another woman as his mother figure" thing in her face. In the Fairytale Land, Mulan and Aurora go off to look for the way to restore Philip.
• Off in the distance, Hook and Cora sail up to Storybrooke harbor in a freaking PIRATE SHIP; apparently they had a magic bean left over from the Giant's house that allowed them to navigate the portal and arrive in Storybrooke. They roll up, all ready to conquer, like, you just KNOW they're jamming to Ke$ha and getting ready to take over Storybrooke. And the cool thing is...I almost found myself rooting for 'em.

 

What I Thought:

 

   I loved the ending. I freaking LOVED the ending. I just cannot...I mean, that's so cool. That is SOOOOOO cool, and you all know it. But, ah... *ahem* I suppose I should try and reclaim a little bit of professionalism for the "review" portion of this post.

    The best part of this episode was the ending. That's not to say the rest was bad, because it wasn't. It was decent stuff. Nothing too surprising, simply because all signs had been pointing to this, but it was still enjoyable. Snow and Emma got home, Cora and Hook were defeated for now, Regina managed to get a little bit farther in her relationship to Henry...not too surprising.

   The ending, on the other hand, blew me out of the water, almost literally. This is something that has clearly been being built towards all season, and it had to happen in the way that it did. Emma and Snow have been battling Cora and Hook all season long, but we always kind of knew they'd win. Because, as Henry kept insisting, "Good always wins." That might not be the case for much longer. Cora, who clearly is a more powerful mage than Regina and possibly Gold, has arrived in Storybrooke. The very thing Regina and Gold were afraid of is occurring before our very eyes, right after multiple episodes of people telling us how bad this would be if it came to pass. With Cora in power, arriving in Storybrooke, I'm really looking forward to a lot of Fairytale Land conventions being challenged. Love might not conquer all, because Cora's launching an attack that she can, and likely will, win.

    I think we're looking ahead to a Storybrooke at war. In a war, people tend to change and grow up, and now always for the better. Henry might have to adjust his naivete a bit over the second half of the season, starting in January. Maybe things will be less black and white, now that we're back in our world. Surely with Neal on his way and Emma's possible romantic feelings for Hook, that's something that's got potential romantically as well as morally. Regina clearly wants to remain a presence in Henry's life, which may not happen with Emma back in the picture. So what does she do-- fight Emma to be in Henry's life again? Will Emma give in, or try to keep Henry for herself? I think we're going to be seeing a lot of grey in the second half of this season, and Good might not always win in every decision that will be made...

 

My Score: 7/10. A somewhat predictable plot was redeemed by an exciting lead into the rest of the season.

 

My Predictions for The Show's Return:

-Emma will try to leave Storybrooke to be with Neal.

-Hook will develop feelings for Emma, but she won't visibly reciprocate (if she does eventually admit to them, it won't be until the Season Finale).

-Henry will learn magic from Regina.

-Belle will break things off with Gold, so that Hook can't use her against him. It'll work about as well as it did for Spider-Man and Mary Jane.

-We won't hear from August, Mulan, or Aurora for awhile...

-...but we'll get some new "modernizations" of fairy tale characters who have been in Storybrooke this whole time, just in the background (I know there were rumors of Ariel, Aladdin, and Jafar for this season, along with Wizards of Oz characters. Of course, the rumors started this past summer, so they might not be accurate, but we can only hope!)

 

 

(Disclaimer: As always, I've used a lot of gifs, cultural references, memes, and photos. If you or someone you know owns/made one of the gifs/photos/etc., comment below and let me know- I'll take it down, if that's what you wish. I don't claim ownership of any of them, I just browse Tumblr and other sites for ones that fit my blog. Also, I own none of the media I reference. "Once Upon a Time" belongs to ABC, Ke$ha songs belong to Ke$ha, "Glee" belongs to Fox, God knows who "Captain Planet" belongs to, etc., etc...I own nothing.)







Chapter 8: In Which Mulan Ditches These Losers Because She's Really Much Smarter Than Them

Hola, my children! It's been a while, what with the two-week hiatus. Apparently that's just a practice for what may be a longer one, given that there's a Winter Finale coming up next week (but the show will reemerge sometime in January.) A lot happened this week, and now that we know there's a mid-season finale coming up next week, it makes a lot more sense...so let's get cracking! This is my recap/review of ABC's "Once Upon a Time," Episode 2x08: "Into the Deep."

*A note: several of this week's events crisscrossed between Storybrooke and The Fairytale Land. I'll be covering them from each side's perspective, in no particular order. 

What Happened:

The Fairytale Land

• We open with Hook finally getting down from that beanstalk. Cora's waiting for him at the bottom, and she's none too happy that Hook ditched her for the Disney Princess Brigade. He tries to get back on her good side, but she'll have none of it: she's off to get the compass back, and will most definitely NOT be taking Hook with her to Storybrooke.
• Cora, who's been runnin' 'round, leaving scars, collecting herself a jar of hearts, goes to said cabinet of cardio organs and uses them to raise up a horde of angry zombies. Take notes, this'll come back to bite the DPB in the butt later. 
• Aurora informs Emma, Snow, and Mulan of her dream, and the Netherworld room she found herself within. Emma decides they can use this to communicate with Henry. 

Basically the level of familiarity they have with their chosen method of communication.

• That night, Aurora meets Henry in the Red Room, within the Netherworld that only people who have been under (and awakened from!) a Sleeping Curse can go to. She informs him that his mother and grandmother are alright, but need Rumpel's help to try and defeat Cora.
• The DPB keeps trekking along the next day, following the compass to the portal to Storybrooke, but Mulan notices that Aurora has a burn- apparently the Red Room can actually hurt people within it, if they let the flames touch them.She's reluctant to let her friend Aurora go back there, given that she swore to her crush/BFF/comrade/whatevs Philip that Aurora would be safe. Aurora, however, basically tells Mulan she feels useless and needs to do something to contribute. 

"Mulan...you, Snow and Emma have done, like, the ENTIRE project. I need to at least do a little bit so that I don't feel totally guilty when we all get an A+..."

• The next time Aurora goes to sleep, she sees Henry. But he's, like, TOTALLY unhelpful, because he times his directions whenever the fire bursts up. So whatever he's trying to say, Aurora doesn't hear. Unfortunately, Mulan chooses this exact moment to wake Aurora up because...
• The camp is under attack by zombies!!!!

• Yep, Cora's zombies are back with a vengeance. Snow and Emma manage to fight most of them off, but because Snow was too busy caught in her Katniss roleplaying to pay attention, Mulan managed to sneak Aurora out of camp.
• Unfortunately, Mulan got caught up fighting more zombies, so Aurora was kidnapped. She's kind of the group's Daphne...
• Cora goes and torments Aurora in her cell, way across the Fairytale Land. Aurora is actually surprisingly snarky back at Cora. Cora throws a curve ball at Aurora when she tells her that Philips Dementor-sucked-- I mean, "wraith"-sucked soul is actually just in another dimension, so she could hypothetically get it back. Luckily, Aurora calls her out her crap.

Cora gets told. 

• Back across the forest, Mulan is arguing with Emma and Snow. They've been given what amounts to a magical ransom note from Cora: give her the compass by sundown if they want to get Aurora back. Snow and Emma decide that, since Snow was once under a Sleeping Curse, she could go to the Red Room in the Netherworld, too. Mulan doesn't like the idea of playing for time...but she agrees. For now.
• In the Netherworld, Snow finds Charming, who has apparently been put under a Sleeping Curse willingly, all in order to find and communicate with Snow. He informs Snow that to stun and restrain Cora, they will need a special bottle of ink, which lies in Rumpelstiltskin's cell back in Snow and Charming's old castle. The two try to kiss to wake David up from the spell, but it doesn't work, because they're not in their physical bodies.
• Snow emerges from her sleep, horrified to learn her husband will be in a deep sleep until she gets back home. Emma's got worse news: Mulan has run off with the compass, determined to give it back to Cora in order to save Aurora.

Mulan's Grand Plan

"Um yeah I'm off to rescue Aurora and we're just gonna go and hang out away from all of your drama, and make lots of sundials and patent them, and with the money we make, we're gonna BUY the portal back to Storybrooke."

•  Luckily for the group, Aurora has been freed by Captain Hook, who told Aurora he was freeing her to spite Cora. 
• Aurora and the group are reunited before Mulan can give Cora the compass, but little does the Disney Princess Brigade know that Hook carved out Aurora's heart and gave it to Cora. Now, Cora is spying on the DPB, controlling Aurora even as the group makes their way to get the MacGuffin-colored Ink...

Storybrooke

• Henry wakes up from his sleep and informs Regina and David that he saw Aurora; the two are okay, but they need to know how to defeat Regina's mother, Cora.
• Regina goes to Granny's Diner, where she interrupts THE most uncomfortable-looking date in the history of uncomfortable-looking dates. It doesn't help that everyone in the diner clearly hates Rumpelstiltskin. Lord, this must be uncomfortable for Belle. 

I know I feel awkward when my (nonexistent) date starts telling me how magical condiments are.

• Regina gets Rumpelstiltskin to come help with the Henry situation. In the convincing conversation, there's some interesting dialogue that seems to indicate that Rumpel was the one who taught Cora her magic, and that they had a violent falling-out. Rumpel is spurred to action by Regina pointing out that if Cora does get to Storybrooke, she could hurt Belle. 
• Regina and Rumpel, watched by David, send Henry back into the Netherworld, explaining that the fiery room is accessible only to those who have awakened from a Sleeping Curse. Meanwhile, Henry awakens there and talks to Aurora, trying to let her know Rumpel's idea for getting rid of Cora: she can be stunned in a similar way that Rumpelstiltskin was by Snow and David, which allowed him to be imprisoned long, long ago. It will take the bottle of ink that the two used (remember the Cinderella episode way back when? They put it in a quill to trap Rumpelstiltskin...). The inkbottle is in Rumpel's old jail cell. Yeah, it'll be a lot of work. But nothing good ever came with a little bit of work. I think. So they tell me. 
• Unfortunately, the flames are too high and Henry cannot make himself heard to Aurora. She gets sucked out of the Netherworld by Mulan awakening her. Henry, in turn, wakes up to find himself severely burnt. ("Ouch, Netherworld! That hurt! Netherworld burned me!")

• Rumpelstiltskin heals him, then David demands to be put under a Sleeping Curse, since he and Regina are totally united by their desire to keep Henry safe.  Regina makes up the curse, and she and Henry get a really nice bonding moment over their mutual love of chemistry. 
• David undergoes the curse and arrives in the Netherworld. However, since it's his first time under such a curse, he has to make his way through a dark dimension of mirrors before he's able to find the fiery room.
• He does so in all of two minutes, and then finds Snow. Within the fiery room, he informs her of what she needs to do. They try to kiss in order to wake him up, but it doesn't work: a tearful Snow realizes that David will be asleep until she can get back to him. 
• A sad Henry looks over his beloved grandfather while Regina and Rumpelstiltskin share a knowing glance. (Because they know they're gonna have to lug David over to the extremely short-staffed hospital for the duration of the spell...and neither one of them is feeling particularly energetic.)

What I Thought:

   This episode made a lot more sense once I found out that next week was the Winter Finale. I kept feeling that there was a lot of back-and-forth, and wondering what it was all about. Now it's clear: we're being set up for next week's episode. That was the ultimate purpose of this episode. 

    Despite the fact that it was a set-up episode, the writers still put in some really nice character moments. Aurora and Mulan both got some much needed development; after all, they really hadn't done all that much since the season premiere. We now see how important promises are to Mulan, which is quite beautiful , if you think about it: whether she loved Philip romantically, or as a best friend (at this point, I think either is possible), she still misses him. The only bit of him that she still has is the promise she made to him- the promise to keep Aurora safe. It made sense that she was willing to die for Aurora, because keeping her promise to Philip is her most important goal at the moment.

    Aurora, too, had some interesting and surprising developments. I was glad to see that she wasn't all whine-- the girl's got some snark to her. You could tell how much she wanted to ask Cora about the potential way to get Philip back, but she resisted the urge and kicked Cora. You go, Aurora! 

Oh, Aurora. Now we know what your role in the group is: Witty Dialogue Specialist.

    Now, let's talk about Regina and Hook briefly, my two favorites of the season (and the whole show, let's be honest). I'm so, so glad the writers have kept their storylines ongoing this season. Regina is still trying to reconnect with Henry, and it looks like it's really paying off. All of her resistance, her self-control, her abstinence from using magic...it's all paying off. Henry is finally able to trust her a bit. I cannot express enough how much I adored the conversation between those two. Henry was tentative, and rightfully so, but...it's really a sign of how much Regina is trying to change, that she didn't push the conversation to mean more than it did. A year ago, she would've forced him to come home. Now, she's realized that the ball is in Henry's court and it's going to stay there. When he is ready to trust her again and let her back into his life for good, he'll do it. (Unfortunately, if the preview for next week is any indication, that might not be for awhile...) 

    Hook's connection to Emma also kept going. We know he's betrayed Cora for Emma, and now he's betraying the Disney Princess Brigade for Cora. It's not unreasonable to expect that he may switch sides again, and that's what I love about him. Any wildcard character is a good deal of fun. We know that Hook wants revenge, and you might think that it's merely a matter of whoever can help him get to Rumpelstiltskin faster. I don't think that's the case, though. I think he's feeling emotions for Emma that he hasn't felt for anyone since Mila, and that scares him. It'll be interesting to see if he will come to Emma's side again, and if so, what his motivations for doing so will be: revenge, or love? 

My Score:

8/10

I wasn't in love with this episode at first, but the fact that it's a set-up episode combined with some fun continuing character arcs made for an enjoyable installment.

My Questions:

• Lord, there are a lot. Let's see...Is Neil gonna show up next episode? I've got a feeling he'll pop up in the last five minutes, just to make things more complicated in January.
• Will anyone get back to Storybrooke next episode, or is this the status quo for the rest of the Season? 
• How many episodes are there gonna be, anyway? I know initially the word on the electronic street was that there'd be twenty-two again, which would mean we're barely a third through the second season...but now it looks unclear, if they're already giving us a mid-season finale. They never said "mid-season," though, just "winter," so I suppose that's the question...
• Rumpelstiltskin mentioned mermaids. This summer, there was word Ariel might show up this season. Is this a hint?

(Disclaimer: As always, I've used a lot of gifs, cultural references, memes, and photos. If you or someone you know owns/made one of the gifs/photos/etc., comment below and let me know- I'll take it down, if that's what you wish. I don't claim ownership of any of them, I just browse Tumblr and other sites for ones that fit my blog. Also, I own none of the media I reference. "Once Upon a Time" belongs to ABC, "The Walking Dead" belongs to AMC, "Glee" belongs to Fox, "Downton Abbey" is the BBC's, etc., etc...I own nothing.)

Chapter 3: In Which The Lady of the Lake Never Actually Shows Up. Awkward.

While last week's episode centered on Charming and Henry in Storybrooke, Episode 2x03: "Lady of the Lake" largely took place in the Fairytale Land, showing us what Emma and Snow were up to. Read on for my recap and review of this week's episode of ABC's "Once Upon a Time!"

What Happened:

Fairytale Land (The Past)

• This takes place after Charming kissed Snow to wake her up, a flashback that we saw at the end of the last season. In case you don't remember, that episode ended with Snow and Charming vowing to "take back the kingdom" from Charming's jerk-of-a-kinda-sorta-adopted-father, King George (I love that there are people in this world named Rumpeltstiltskin and Baelfire, and then people named John and George.) 
• Red Riding Hood is sprinting through the forest. We learn she is not simply jogging in impractical clothing when she arrives in a war-tent of Snow and Charming, who are discussing their plans. Everybody is forced to flee when King George's men arrive. 
• Unfortunately, Snow is kidnapped by a knight named Lancelot and brought to King George. He's seemingly polite and offers her refreshments. While she's sipping some water, he's all, "So once upon a time my wife got offered refreshments, too. Then she couldn't have children because said refreshments were cursed." Snow's all, 

• ...because she clearly has just been cursed in a similar manner. 
• George lets Snow go, because what does he have to lose, am I right? In the woods, she encounters Lancelot, who explains he didn't know what the Queen had intended. They team up and run to Charming's secret cabin, where he has just fended off an attack of George's men. Unfortunately, his mom has been shot. 
• The group heads off to the lake from "What Happened to Frederick", seeking the water's magical healing properties. Unfortunately, the lake has dried up since Charming killed its resident she-demon last season.
• They find a single drop of water. Charming's mom, who has learned via her magic mom inquisitive powers about Snow's recent medical tragedy, works with Lancelot and tricks Snow into drinking the water instead. She dies after seeing Snow and Charming get married by Lancelot. I guess Knights are allowed to perform marriages in Fairytale Land. 

Fairytale Land (Present)

• Cora, Snow and Emma chat in The Pit (the surviving Fairytale residents' prison in the sanctuary.) Snow doesn't trust Cora, but Emma naturally doesn't know everything crazy about Regina's mother like Snow does. 
• As it turns out, Lancelot is the leader of the Fairytale survivors. He, Snow and Emma feast on chimaera. Emma has this fantastic look on her face as she sizes up her dinner, humungous hunks of God-knows-what-a-chimaera-is. Her face is something like:

• Meanwhile, Aurora sees that the people she views as responsible for Philip's "death" (he only lost his soul, I'm sure they'll get it back in the season finale) being chummy with Lance and is angry and angsty. Mulan has a bestie moment with her and convinced her not to do anything stupid. Apparently they've bonded by their tragic mutual crushes.
• Mulan, Emma and Snow then leave, deciding to look for the magic wardrobe that Emma was transported through as a baby; their theory is that they can use the wardrobe to get Emma and Snow back to our world.
• Aurora is extremely angry and attacks Snow (they chalk it up to grief over Philip, but the obviously real reason is that she was upset over not being included in the Disney Princess Brigade's newest mission). Snow easily judo flips her, but then Emma and Sleeping Beauty bond and it's all better, yay!!!
• After a scuffle with an ogre, the group arrives at Snow and Charming's old place. Emma feels awkward looking at what is essentially her mom's old apartment. 
• Lance shows up, but as it turns out...he's not Lance!!

• That's right, folks...turned out the real Lance was killed by Cora years ago, and she's been impersonating him ever since. 
• Cora wants to use the wardrobe to go and see Regina. But Emma knows that will endanger Henry, so she sets the furniture on fire. The Disney Princess Brigade teams up and fights off Cora, who flees in a cloud of smoke vowing vengeance. (She would've gotten away with it, too, if it wasn't for those meddling princesses.)
• Emma and Snow have a very sweet mother/daughter moment, in which Emma tells Snow she is overwhelmed by Snow's love for her because "no one has ever put [her] first before."

Storybrooke

• Henry is forced to go to school by David. (Which begs the question, what the heck is school like now that all the children know they are fairytale characters? Is Ariel some snarky straight-A student who can now protest any unlikeable grade with the line "Ever heard of my dad? He's a king. With a trident"? Do they have coping counselors on hand to help everyone deal with dual identities? How can a teacher possibly justify teaching Driver's Ed to a bunch of kids from a place where horse-riding is the local brand of transportation? I NEED ANSWERS, PEOPLE!)
• We then learn that Henry's chronic truancy has yet to be cured as he goes to visit Jefferson, whom he acts really fanboy-ish around ("I've read your story!"). While Jefferson looks at Henry wishing he would just go away, Henry tries to convince him to go find his daughter, whose Storybrooke counterpart lived/lives with an adopted family.
• Since Jefferson is reluctant, Henry decides it's time to take drastic measures. It's here that he does something that I, and I'm sure other Regina fans (at least one of you who reads this blog is), hate: he calls Regina and asks her to meet him for lunch. She looks so tearfully ecstatic at the idea of her estranged son wanting to spend time with her,it broke my heart when as soon as she left, Henry the Horrible sped into her office to steal her secret keys. You'll all be hearing about this in the review section.

Me:

• Using his ill-gotten keys, Henry the Horrible goes grave-robbing (by that I mean he sneaks into Regina's secret lair underneath her father's grave). He is looking for Jefferson's heart, which is apparently under Regina's control, but before he can find it he opens up a box of snakes which almost attack him...
• ...until David shows up and saves him. Henry successfully reunites Jefferson and his daughter, and then is rewarded for skipping school with new toys/wooden swords from David. Nice parenting, there, David.

What I Thought

 

   This episode had three main plotlines this week: Past-Snow fearing a future without children, Present-Snow learning to live with and for a child, and Henry attempting to reunite a parent with his child while neglecting his own mother. Clearly, parenting (and the relationship between parent and child) was something of a theme- and a much-needed one: at the end of the season premiere, Snow jumped through a portal into the unknown to be with Emma. It's time we saw some pay-off, and this episode delivered it. Emma got her first real taste of what parently-love should be: the utter giving of one person to another, unconditionally, with no regards to their own safety and well-being, all because they want the best life possible for the other person, whom they feel responsible.

   The past-storyline featuring Charming's mother felt a bit redundant and boring, considering we knew all along that Snow would somehow have Emma, given the latter's present existence on the show. Since that's the case, the story must be about something else, and therefore it must be to show us how even before Snow met Emma, she loved the idea of her- having a child was a dream, both of Snow and Charming. Showing us all that Snow went through helps put her sudden love and (as Emma sees it) overt affection for Emma into context.

    Let's talk about Henry's mini-adventure. It's no secret to some of you that I don't like him, due to his behavior towards Regina. His careless deception must've caused her pain (did you see her face when she got a call from him? Did you??? ) but David explained that instead of flying into a rage, she rationally called David and asked him to go and find Henry, knowing her son wouldn't come with her. She could have forced him, but she chose not to, doing what was best for her child and sending someone he cared about instead. Regina recognizes she's done terrible things to Henry, and she's trying to make amends. Regina put Henry's emotional well-being above her own pain, and that's what a mother does.

   I'm not going to discuss Jefferson, because his story didn't really get all that much focus. Jefferson and his daughter were basically plot-devices meant to provide Henry with an adventure. This week was a story of three mothers who love their children and showed it.

  On a side-note, I very much enjoyed having Cora disappear into the nether and get established as a recurring villain, and the Disney Princess Brigade working together. "Sleeping Beauty, Mulan, Snow White, and Snow White's daughter fighting evil" is kind of an epic pitch.



My Questions:
 
• What will Regina do now that she's not the mayor anymore?
• Will Henry ever realize that Regina is an actual person capable of mistakes, but also redemption?
• Are Emma and Snow going to be trapped in Fairytale Land all season? I think it'd be great to have our characters spread out like that.
• Where was Henry's cellphone?

 

Next Week:

 

Captain Hook gets the biggest makeover in all of fiction!

 

Before...

 

After!

 



My score for this week's episode:

7/10.

The main storyline in present-day Fairytale Land was good, but dragged down by Henry's adventure and the fate of Charming's mother.

 

 

(Note: I used a lot of gifs and images this week. If any of them are yours, belong to someone you know, etc., let me know and I'll take them down. I honestly just searched for stuff to fit my reactions and writing; this blog is for entertainment purposes only and is not for profit. I own none of the characters, storylines, or images that I use, nor the TV show I am discussing or other pop culture/entertainment entities/shows/movies/etc. I make references to.)